Nighttime Parenting How to Get Your Baby and Child to Sleep Book

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It is better to lose sleep over your children when they are little, than to have to stay up worrying about them when they are older.

Sleep problems occur when your child’s night-waking exceeds your ability to cope.

One of the greatest gifts you can give your new baby is a home built on the foundation of a stable and fulfilled marriage.

Calendar parenting simply does not work, and it often produces a short-term gain for a long-term loss.

As you get used to being a unit you will feel right when you are together and not right when you are apart.

Mothers are givers and babies are takers – that is a realistic expectation of a mother-baby relationship.

The tiny infant does not begin this conditioning until around three months, when more wakefulness occurs during the day and more sleep during the night.

In a study of a large group of infants, 70 percent of infants settled (12-5) by three months.

Sleep sharing reflects an attitude of acceptance of your child as a little person with big needs.

To a tiny baby, when mother is out of sight she ceases to exist.

Nursing the baby while sharing naps and nighttime sleep releases prolactin which counteracts the stress of caring for the baby’s needs.

The extra touching that a baby receives by sleeping with his parents definitely has a beneficial effect on development.
The quantity and quality of mothering does effect the emotional and intellectual development of the child.

A need that is filled does go away. It may last a little longer than we expect, but eventually it will pass.

Studies have shown that children under three sleep better sharing a bedroom rather than alone in their own rooms.

It is important that when babies are presented with certain cues they know that sleep is expected of them. Bedtime rituals set the stage and convey the message that sleep is soon to follow.

Sleep is not a stage you can force your child into. Sleep must overtake the child. Parents’ role is to create a sleep-inducing environment.

The smooth continuum from a warm bath to warm arms to a warm breast to a warm bed will usually induce sleep to one (or both) of you.

Patting the baby’s bottom or back repeatedly at sixty beats per minute may add the finishing touches to the ritual of inducing sleep. Remove your hands gradually, first one, than the other, easing the pressure slowly, as not to startle the baby back to waking.

A study at the University of North Carolina showed that infants remembered what their mothers read to them while in the womb. Babies in this study responded more strongly after stories that they heard while in the womb than to others by the same author.

Your baby can talk. You just need to learn how to listen.

A restrained response to crying undermines the infants trust.
The quicker the cry is responded to, the easier it is to turn it off.

Remember, that it is a person that is crying.

Studies have shown that young babies whose cries are promptly responded to cries less as older infants.

Because of you mother’s love for her grandchild, she will naturally want to help and advise. However, for the sake of her grandchild, this help and advice should be on your own terms and not grandmother’s. Grandmother has had her shot at parenthood. Now it’s your turn.

Letting the dad take over might be necessary if the mother can no longer cope well during the day because of not sleeping at night. This solution may be difficult for a sensitive, attached mother to accept, but she should remember that having dad comfort the baby is not the same as letting him cry. Crying in the arms of a familiar, well loved parent is not the same as being left alone behind the bars of a crib to cry it out.

Sleep maturity tends to take longer to develop in high needs children. These children are very sensitive to environmental stimuli by day and carry this sensitivity into their sleep patterns at night. Parents of a high need child will often describe him as “exhausting but bright.” These children seem to be constantly awake and aware, by day and by night, as though they posses an internal light bulb that is always on. Their inner radar system is always tuned in and processing the stimuli around them. One of the problems is that these children never want to turn the light off or the radar down. They do not easily detach themselves from the delights of their environment. They do not give up easily and are therefore very difficult to get to sleep. A seven bedtime is usually an unrealistic expectation for these children. Some sleep researchers feel that it is the ability to stay awake that reflects the maturation of the brain, rather than the ability to go to sleep through the night.

A fussy baby can shake the confidence of a new mother, and this can destroy many of the rewarding aspects of parenting. This leads to a vicious cycle: the less confident you are, the less effective you become at comforting your baby and the more inconsolable he becomes.

Being held in tense arms can be very upsetting to a baby who is already sensitive to tension.

Babies who receive a prompt response to their cries eventually cry less.

A new mother does not exercise wisdom in knowing when she is exceeding her ability to cope.

One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is to love her mother, and one of the greatest gifts you can give your wife is to be an involved father.

The word nightmare arises from the Teutonic word “mar” meaning devil. During the middle ages it was believed that nightmares were caused by a demon pressing upon the sleeper’s chest.

Children who sleep with their parents have fewer nightmares.
Children are more likely to have problems with bed-wetting if their parents were also bed-wetters.

The peak incidence of SIDS is around three months, which coincides with the time most babies begin to sleep “better,” that is, to spend a larger percent of sleep time in quiet sleep.

Breastfeeding protects infants from respiratory and gastrointestinal infections, and these have been shown to contribute to SIDS risk.

Anthropological studies that the rate of SIDS is approximately three to four times higher in countries where mothers do not sleep with their babies.

You will see definite signs of readiness for a nap later: more crankiness, droopy eyelids, slowly down, patting his head down, wanting to nurse.

Rocking of a cradle may lull him back to sleep.

Our modern swinging cradles are the counterpart of the hammocks used to soothe babies in other cultures.

As much as possible try to minimize the changes in your baby’s lifestyle: home, neighborhood, beds and babysitters.

Babies and children of all ages get used to routine in the family lifestyle.

Babies at nine months do not separate from their mothers easily by day or by night.