The Little Engine That Could Book

My son loves this book. L-O-V-E-S it. The board book had been his go-to "read this to me 4 times in a row" book as a baby and now as a 19 month old toddler, he's discovered this edition and insists on it every night before bed.

And yes, it's a classic beloved by generations. But I'm still only giving it one star. If I have to read this damn thing multiple times a day, I damn well reserve the right to judge it with all my might.

Firstly, it's tedious. There's no need to list everything on the cargo manifest. The first third of the book is just a running tab on what's going over the mountain, and does nothing to advance the plot. We are led to assume the little blue engine will be a main character, but we don't see her until the book is almost over. The real protagonist seems to be "the funniest toy clown you ever saw," which is actually not funny at all, but terrifying. If I wanted clowns, I'd read IT.

Secondly, why do only the good little boys and girls get toys and food? Don't the bad kids at least deserve a toy clown and some spinach? Surely their behavior could be a result to bad conditions at home and SOMEONE has to reach out to them and let them know they're worthy of the bare necessities. But in this world of sentient trains, we know that compassion is in short supply.

Thirdly, all the trains but the little blue one are dicks. The lesson of this book isn't perseverance, it's that 3/4 of people you meet will leave you to die on the side of the road. An important lesson, sure, but I think I'd rather wait until at least kindergarten before I start teaching my son that.

Fourthly, what happens to the red engine that broke down at the beginning of the book? Do they just leave it there? As we already know, no one else is going to help it get home.

Perhaps the most bothersome part of this edition is the terrible layout/formatting. There's no effort to keep whole sentences together on a page. As a parent reading this, that means I don't know what's coming or how to inflect certain words or phrases because I can't see how it ends. If I wasn't 90% on the way of having this memorized, this could really negatively impact the storytelling experience for my child.

I much preferred the board book version to the original. It neatly compressed all relevant information into a coherent, pleasurable read that you could also chew on. To get through this edition, (because I must, because I love my son and would never hide the book behind a radiator in someone else's house like I very much would like to do) I employ several ridiculous, over the top voices and attitudes, and adjust my reading speed to twice that of my normal one. I advise any parent in a similar situation to do the same.