Your Two Year Old: Terrible or Tender Book

This book was written in 1976. I was 4. But I haven't seen a more recent book that so specifically describes approximate age related behaviors and how they relate to discipline issues.
Ames' writing is easy to read. It's gentle, kind, and compassionate, reminding me to be, too.

I laughed when Ames described that one of two year olds favorite games is putting their dolls or stuffed animals to bed. I often see my daughter spreading a favorite blanket over her stuffed animal babies.

She describes some of her favorite techniques "tricks" for two year olds.

- Use their dependence on rituals, for example, at bedtime. But be sure a make it simple because the slightest variation can be upsetting.

- Avoid ultimatums. "You have to pick up all your toys before dinner." This sets you up to "be stuck with trying to push through an order." She says it's better to say "Let's pick up toys now." and do it together. Another example is "We'll go out to play just as soon as we've picked up." Notice the "we"? Actual parent picking up is implied here.

- Using questions rather than commands can encourage compliance. "Where do the blocks go?"

- If something must be done, then be firm. I guess this is kind of a pick your battles attitude, although she doesn't use that phrase.

- Try to avoid head on clashes. Use diversion, distraction, or a change of scene. This doesn't mean give in, just distract while, for example, dressing a child who does not want to be dressed.

- Sometimes actions speak better that words, like leading a child to the bathroom instead of arguing about if they have to go or not.

- She says giving choices works with some children this age, but can often backfire because they have difficulty making decisions. If you do give choices in may be helpful to know that children this age often choose the last choice.

I enjoyed this book and thought it was full of good advice, although definitely on the lenient side.