He's Scared, She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabotage Your Relationships Book

The authors explore issues and anxieties about individual commitment that prevent people from finding or keeping the love they need. This book examines why people may be afraid of a serious ongoing relationship and differentiates between male and female fears and responses. Using case studies, the authors illustrate commitment problems and suggest ways to resolve conflicts.
I stumbled across this book while searching for another title. It called to me so I downloaded it. The information presented in this book is very insightful; I have a deeper understanding about myself, my pattern, and my past relationships.
The authors demonstrate the differences between active and passive commitment phobias and how they play out in pursuit-panic relationships by examining each relationship stage. They suggest that everyone has some degree of commitment phobia. The many exercises and questionnaires in this book help readers to identify their relationship patterns, fears, and commitment conflicts.
This book is heavy reading; the first five chapters contain case studies of unhealthy relationships which I found depressing. The questionnaires really helped me identify my relationship pattern and my fears. I enjoyed reading about narcissistic, claustrophobic, universal and circumstantial commitment anxiety. The appendix is a great quick reference and includes information on recovering from a break-up.
Understanding ourselves and our behavior is key in refining it and learning from past relationships. Learning to recognize commitment phobic responses in ourselves and others will assist us in sustaining healthy and satisfying relationships.
Everyone should read this book; aside from relationships, there are many other areas where commitment phobia plays a role, such as at work and at home. It's a good resource with many practical suggestions which apply to all areas of life.