Black and blue Book

4.5 stars

"I stayed because I thought things would get better, or at least not worse. I stayed because I wanted my son to have a father and I wanted a home. For a long time I stayed because I loved Bobby Benedetto, because no one had ever gotten to me the way he did. I think he knew that. He made me his accomplice in what he did, and I made Robert mine."

Anna Quindlen's book about domestic violence will leave you saddened, enraged and also hopeful. She allowed me to really see into the heart and soul of Fran Benedetto, a mother and wife that stayed with an abusive husband for what she thought were the right reasons. Until one day. One day that was worse than the others. One day that Fran decided to save herself and her son, Robert. Bobby Benedetto may never have left a single mark on Robert's body, but Fran recognized the relentless damage to his spirit. A spirit that she did not want to see extinguished in a son she loved so dearly. So with the help of a local organization, Fran and Robert are relocated, renamed, and restarted in a new life. As Beth and Robert Crenshaw, Fran and Robert will learn that there are still sacrifices to be made and life is far from easy when starting over. How could it be after a lifetime spent in fear? Fear does not disappear with a new identity. It's just as palpable as ever before, especially for a mother that will protect her son at any cost. Perhaps what she feared even more than another blow was the effect the years of tolerating, lying and hiding secrets would have on an impressionable young mind. "My little boy, who had always had something of the little old man about him, was becoming a dead man, too, with a dead man's eyes. There are ways and ways of dying, and some of them leave you walking around."

I found myself completely engrossed in this novel. I felt Quindlen did a superb job in giving a voice to Fran, a voice that made me listen and start to understand a topic that may be all too easy for us to ignore if it doesn't affect our own lives quite personally. Even Bobby, a man that I despised, was well-drawn and Fran's reaction to him honest and affecting. "As rich and persuasive as Bobby Benedetto's voice, that was how full and palpable was his sorrow and regret. And how huge was his rage. It was like a twister cloud; it rose suddenly from nothing into a moving thing that blew the roof off, black and strong. I smell beer, I smell bourbon, I smell sweat, I smell my own fear, ranker and stronger than all three." I agonized over Robert's safety and his overall well-being right along with Fran. I was tense and afraid of what would happen to this woman if her police detective husband ever discovered her whereabouts. My heart ached. I truly felt I walked in Fran's shoes, and I am quite certain that this is what the author intended and accomplished with this book. You can make a change. You can start anew. It won't be easy; you will always wonder if you did the right thing. There is hope.