The Cry of the Icemark: Icemark Chronicles #1 Book

All right, I am definitely out of the age range of this book and I have apparently outgrown the phase when one-dimension characters in a straightforward plot can win my heart. Now, could they ever? I'm not so sure, but the five-star reviews from young readers show that the book is appreciated and even loved.

I decided to give it two stars instead of one for one simple reason: the plot and characters can earn one star at best (since there is no "no-stars" option), while I do see some potential in the author's style (at times) and also in a number of plot/world devices, such as the werewolf relay system or the general idea of introducing a scholar who observes the world, records histories etc. I must admit that I quite liked the way the vampires were presented as the bored, tired with immortality and yet clinging to their existence beings (if only they had served anything at all in the plot and their characters had any individuality - well, the latter applies to just every single character in the book).

However, all such things cannot save a plot as thin as the most luxurious vellum, or characters that are as bland as it gets. The plot moves from one predictable event to another, and the characters are characterless pawns on a chessboard with a set game. I wonder if anyone at any point doubted that Thirrin would persuade the potential allies to joining her, let alone if anyone anticipated the outcome of any of the battles. Moreover: the logic of the plot escapes me. First the whole city is evacuated and the inhabitants make a tiresome march to the safety of the north, to escape invasion. Apart from the fact that this is damn stupid, it also has no consequences: the capital is taken by the enemy (well, it was EMPTY), who then leaves it (we learn later that the ghosts had some part in driving the enemy out, which actually could be a nice touch, if the author had written it better), and gets annihilated in a battle in the forest. However, when the army goes back in a matter of weeks (having the whole populace of a big city relocated to a smaller one without any economic problems whatsoever), there is no sign of the battle, even though all those corpses covered in snow and ice should make a gruesome view. For some time the capital is empty but the Enemy does not think about repopulating it (they don't have to storm it anymore, since it's EMPTY), so conveniently the Icemarkians come down and simply march in, and the city is fully functionable despite its abandonment in the middle of a very hard winter. Then the small province of the north supplies the army with food, fodder and anything else, the drafted army performs like a professional one after several weeks of training, we get a tedious and over-extended (not to mention unconvincing to downright stupid from the military point of view) description of the battle of Minas Tirith Frostmarris and the book ends.

At first glance I expected to enjoy the world: the combination of a developed Roman Polipontian Empire, with cannons and muskets, with a Vikingland Icemark featuring some Viking and some Celtic elements, the Amazons Hyppolitans relocated to the north, and some kind of Greek-like south was promising. Add to it sufficiently original werewolves and vampires - all this looks quite well. If only these lands were inhabited by people and not stereotypes... And if the author had not fallen into one of my most hated pits: of creating a wise, old and perfect race of talking animals. I could not bear the Snow Leopards at all, sorry fans. Still, the idea to use as many cultures as possible is a good one, but please Mr. Hill, add some life to your world and characters!

And now comes the worst: unlike many people who wrote reviews here I AM a fan of military history (from antiquity to the 19th century), and what I got deserved a huge laugh at best but mostly a huge facepalm. The author is an archaeologist (it shows, but it does not guarantee good writing), but has no idea about strategy, tactics, logistics and warfare in general. Moreover, he makes the mistake (beginner's perhaps) that he mostly multiplies the numbers of troops instead of thinking about tactics; and what is even worse, he declares throughout the book that the evil and cruel general of the Enemy, a certain Scipio Bellorum, is a military genius. The problem is, Mr. Bellorum's tactics are as naive and silly as it gets, and any army would have him hung or murdered for the way he treats his officers, in the matter of weeks. A lesson for Mr. Hill to learn from history books: all great commanders who lasted long were loved by their armies, not just feared, and certainly not feared for their madness and cruelty - this generally guarantees quick mutiny, even if the captain wins battles.

Oh, and I forgot to say that a small city with a tiny garrison withstands ten days of siege when their walls had been breached in several places by a huge army. The army cannot take the city despite the military genius of their commander. And no, the inhabitants don't set fire to their city. Nothing as spectacular, they are JUST SO BRAVE that this alone is enough to keep thousands of legionaries at bay. And mind you, this is not Tolkien, this is supposed to be realistic.

And this is it: the book is full of paper characters who impersonate certain traits, without any hint at psychology, without any doubts. Even the scene when Oskan has to choose between being a Black Witch or a White Witch is predictable and devoid of dramatism. There is no single traitor or badass in Icemark, there is no place for good Polypontians. I don't know, maybe this changes in the sequels, but I am not sure if I am going to check it.