Adopting on Your Own: The Complete Guide to Adopting as a Single Parent Book

Preface	xvii
How to Use This Book	xxx
A Note on Gender and Language	xxxii
PART I TO ADOPT OR NOT TO ADOPT	1
Chapter 1. Hopes, Fears, and Realities	3
Reasons for Adopting	6
Some Common Concerns about Adoption	8
How Old Is Too Old to Parent?	8
How Much Money Do I Need to Make to Adopt a Child?	11
How Much Time Will I Need to Take Off from Work When
I Adopt?	12
What If I'm Still Trying to Become Pregnant?	14
Can I Adopt Now If I Had Cancer Five Years Ago?	15
Can I Adopt If I've Been in Therapy?	16
I'm Living with a Partner, but Neither of Us Wants to
Marry	17
Ambivalence Is Normal	18
Your Adoption Journal	24
Your Adoption Network	25
Exercises	26
Things to Do	30
Chapter 2. Parenting Without a Partner	31
Resolving Issues and Moving Forward	31
Strengths of the One-Parent Adoptive Family	36
Exercises	39
Things to Do	40
Chapter 3. Breaking the News and Creating a Support
Network	42
Feedback and Support for the Decision-Making Process	43
Breaking the News	46
Family	47
Friends	53
Your Job	55
Creating a Support Network	58
Exercises	61
Chapter 4. Children by Birth versus Adoption	66
Coping with Impaired Fertility	67
Choosing Adoption First	70
Exercises	74
Things to Do	76
Chapter 5. The Needs of Adopted Children	77
Core Issues for Adopted Children	80
Talking to Your Child about Adoption	84
Children's Rights	91
The Resilient Child	92
Issues for the One-Parent Family	96
Names and Naming	103
Exercises	104
Chapter 6. A Look into the Future	113
The Ten-Year Fantasy	114
A Day with and without a Child	117
The Decision-Maker's Bill of Rights	118
Exercises	120
Chapter 7. Choosing Not to Adopt (the Child-Free Choice)	122
Things to Do	126
PART II THE ADOPTION PROCESS FOR SINGLES	129
Chapter 8. The Child Who Is Right for You	131
A Girl or a Boy?	134
What about Age and Life History?	135
Adopting Siblings	138
Children with Special Needs	139
Transracial Adoption	149
Transreligious Adoption	159
Exercises	160
Chapter 9. Types of Adoption	164
Domestic Adoption through Child Public Welfare
Agencies	167
Adoption from the Foster Care System	167
Foster Care and Legal Risk Placement	173
The Pros and Cons of Adopting a Child through a Child
Public Welfare Agency	176
The Advantages of Adopting a Child through a Child
Public Welfare Agency	176
The Disadvantages of Adopting a Child through a Child
Public Welfare Agency	178
Other Considerations	178
Domestic Private Adoption	178
Private Agencies and the Domestic Adoption of Infants	178
The Advantages of Domestic Private Adoption of Infants	183
The Disadvantages of Domestic Private Adoption of
Infants	184
Independent Private Domestic Adoption	184
The Advantages of Independent Private Domestic
Adoption	189
The Disadvantages of Independent Private Domestic
Adoption	189
Other Considerations	190
Identified Adoption	191
Open Adoption and Semi-Open Adoption	193
International Adoption	199
Adopting through Home Study Agencies and Placement
Agencies	202
The Immigration and Naturalization Service and the
International Adoption Process	203
Independent International Adoption	210
Traveling to Adopt Your Child	212
The Pros and Cons of International Adoption	214
The Advantages of International Adoption	214
The Disadvantages of International Adoption	214
Other Considerations	215
General Considerations for All Types of Adoption	215
Things to Do	218
Chapter 10. Choosing an Agency and Doing a Home Study	219
Choosing an Agency	220
The Home Study	226
What Is a Home Study?	226
General Considerations	233
Some Special Concerns in the Home Study	235
Single Men Adopting	235
Gay and Lesbian Adoption	237
International Gay and Lesbian Adoption	238
Domestic Gay and Lesbian Adoption	239
Should You Be Open about Your Sexual Orientation?	240
The Post-Placement	243
Exercise	243
Things to Do	244
Chapter 11. Finances	246
Tax Credits, Subsidies, and Adoption Assistance	249
Insurance	255
Health Insurance	255
Disability Insurance	256
Life Insurance	256
Child-Related Expenses	257
Childcare and Schools	257
College and Vocational Schools	259
Financial Stability	259
Exercises	261
Chapter 12. What's Next?	266
Adding to Your Family	266
Balance	269
Exercise	272
Afterword	273
Appendix A Are You Ready?	277
Appendix B Creating Your Own Support Network	281
Appendix C Resources	285
Adoptive Parent Support Groups and Foster Parent
Organizations	285
Single Adoptive Parent Support Groups	285
National Single Adoptive Parent Organizations	292
National Adoptive and Foster Parent Organizations	293
Gay and Lesbian Adoption Resources	300
Resources and Registries for Adoption	302
Nationwide Adoption Resources and Registries	302
Regional and State Adoption Registries and Resources	304
International Adoption Resources by Country of Origin	309
Other Adoption-Related Resources	314
Other Resources	317
Other Resources for Single Parents	317
Medical Resources	319
Disability and Other Special Needs Support
Organizations	323
Printed Materials and Other Information	330
Sources for Books and Other Media	330
Periodicals	331
Resources on the Internet	334
Web Sites	335
General Adoption Information Resources	335
Gay and Lesbian Resources	341
Web Sites in Canada	342
International Adoption	343
Travel	345
Information on Adoption Subsidies	346
Medical Resources for Children with Special Needs	346
General Information Resources	348
On-line Magazines	350
Internet Discussion Groups	351
Newsgroups	351
Adoption Mailing Lists	351
General Adoption Mailing Lists	351
International Adoption Mailing Lists	353
Other Mailing Lists of Interest	357
Bulletin Boards	357
Chat Groups	359
Appendix D Selected Bibliography	361
Acknowledgments	389