The Bachelor Cure Book

I uh....I kind of...well...that is to say that...erm...
I have no idea what I think about this book.
I read it as a cheaters in romance book but…is there really any cheating?
Maybe emotional cheating, or moral or maybe it was just one strange turmoil of misunderstandings, mishaps and…and…erm…I really do not want to say bad writing...more like unfinished scribbles.
During this whole book I felt like I was reading the authors notes on the book she was going to write. Because really, so much was missing! We were given these little bits of information that were never really dissolved and you could just see where a big chunk of the book was just. not. written.
Weird, huh?

But the thing that made me feel most weird was the ‘Was this cheating' factor?
Because I have no idea. I would say not, but then again…it all had such big consequences…unrealistic stupid stuff made only for the book to have a resemblance of a plot.
The hero is in love with the heroine. They are dancing around each other for 10 years, never in a relationship, never having sex, never even kissing.
At one point the heroine is supposed to go on a car trip to a near by city for business. Some random dude is going with her so they can share gas money.
The hero goes crazy, tells her-No! You are not going with him… (huh?)
And freaks out without trying to explain that the carpooler in question is a serial seducer. (How can a person who has 3 grow kids be a serial seducer that can be of any threat to a 20 something year old girl that coverts from all men? Huh?)
During the big fight the hero picks the best moment to kiss the heroine and smash her lips with his teeth. Which is a total to-do for a chick that has male phobia issues that are a result of physical abuse. Sure, right?
The heroine freaks. The hero goes in to some random town where he does some business and wants to cool off. (What does a small ranch owner do there, any way? Again to little info)
There he has sex with a random chick. Why? Because she is flashy and nothing like the heroine.

So, lets stop for a moment!
Is it cheating? I have no idea. They were not in a relationship. But the hero claimed he loved the heroine so it is kind of lame, no?
The hero plans to go and apologize to the heroine but the random chick tells him she is pregnant.

Again, let us stop.
How do they know?
In cheating romance this is a big wtf for me. How do these other women know they are pregnant like…5 minutes after the intercourse?
Do they bliiiing like a microwave?
That would be so cool, would it not? :)

Never mind. Back to the story…
The hero marries random chick in a deal-she would stay as long as the baby needs her and then they would divorce. This is a bit better then the standard pregnant other woman stories because we can partially understand the heroes plans. In most books when some woman turns out pregnant the heroes drop everything-the wifes,finaces,friends,futures,love,plans…all,just to marry who ever and make ‘and honest women out of her’ (What ever. This is not the middle ages. There are no bastards. And you know what? I think honest women use condoms.)

Any way…
Here the book starts.
The other woman left the hero with the few days old baby. The hero is stupefied because he knows nothing of children.
Naturally he goes to the heroine and ask for help. (Why not the wife of his best friend that has two kids? Again the author makes a plot move just for the sake of the plot. In other words she makes the characters act in weird patterns so there would be a story.)
The author at this point serves us two big clichés that would make any feminist nazi go up in flames:
1.The heroine falls instantly in love with a baby. Huh? It’s a screaming infant, that is not yours and it is the span of Satan and the man you love. Why do you care, really?
2. She just know what to do. What to buy. She makes instant lists and knows how to cook formulas without reading the instructions. The heroine, never had a child and knows these things by nature. So you see,all the silly mothers and future mothers that had to read pregnancy/child care to do manuals are not women enough.

So frustrations aside,after this we read a lot of mumbled babysitting moments that vary from Thanksgiving dinners to christenings.
During all of this the real mother is in Vegas or some such stupid place, trying to be a…black jack dealer?-Or what ever and is signing the divorce papers and relinquishing her right to the baby.
Yes, I got to stop again. *Sight*

We have a flashy woman that is not a gold digger (this is stated because she left some valuable stuff behind) She is just a free spirit that did not want to get saddled by a baby, a husband or…anything. She lives wild runs free…and other clichés. So, how did this woman survive up to that point to not be on any contraception and not use condoms without you know….getting pregnant or dying of an STD? And if she is like this…how did she not get an abortion? Why did she even marry in the first place? And why oh why did she contact the hero when realizing that she was having a baby? So many loose ends that you can not even start to count them... Again this is in favor to my theory that there would be no story at all if the author just stopped making weird situations. Because in the real world the hero would go and have sex with random woman, and walk away with a small std. Or she would get pregnant and abort. The hero would go back to his hometown and apologize to the heroine. The heroine would go to a therapist. After a few years she would learn to trust and give in to the hero. The end.

The heroine is still scared witless of men and drools about Big John being, well big, and could hurt her boohooohooo. What? Why? We go back to the kiss that made her a bloody lip so many times you want to scream. And when ever he touches her she scrambles out of the place. The hero is no better, and while he is just diabetic will die kind of sweet most of the time the other times he sprouts sentences like ‘At least my wife had not denied her passions!’ (dude, your ‘wife’ jumped your boner after a bottle of whiskey. Lets not judge people by her!) or ‘This is your fault you know’ (Erm, the heroine is guilty for you having unprotected sex? After getting drunk and stupid? Sure. What ever.)
At one point the emotional hero snaps and tells her to go away. He can not take the heart wreck no more! (Boooho. Here, have a tissue.)
This all happens after the heroine saw the box of her pictures and news paper clippings dated 10 years back. She is in full shock with the realization that he loves her! Oh my! He only, you know…was there asking you out for…uh…ten years? He was bound to like you, brainiac.
Blah blah blah she changes her mind.
Just like that she is not afraid! All her childhood issues are absolved! Gone are the scars from her father and the frights John gives her and the fact that his father was a monster and he could turn one day to be like him…gone,gone,gone!
They marry and live happy ever after.
The end.

Huh?
Yeah, I said that too.
See now why I felt like this was just the contour of the story?
Maybe it could have been good (not so much faith in that either it was just so commonplace!) if more effort was invested. But as it is I got to say-today anything gets published.