Rules for Radical Conservatives: Beating the Left at Its Own Game to Take Back America Book

Are you a frustrated conservative shocked by the bunch of far Left fanatics driving the bus—and our future—off a cliff? It’s time to fight back with the same ruthlessness that has served the radicals so well—not just now, but for the long term. And who better to reveal their strategies—and their fatal weaknesses—than one of their own? Playing on his all-too-typical hubris and good old greed, we’ve recruited well-known liberal apparatchik David Kahane to lead conservatives out of the political wilderness, whether he means to or not. Is he arrogant and obnoxious? Absolutely. Does he deliver the goods? You betcha. We’ll let Dave speak for himself:
 
Please allow me to introduce myself. . . . My name is David and I’m going to share some secrets. I’m going to take you into the smoke-free back rooms of today’s progressive political machine to reveal how it really operates—and how you can bring it down. I’ll lay out the rules we radicals have used to run circles around you, and clue you in on how to make them work for you, too.

How do I know this stuff? As the son of the sainted “Che” Kahane, I’ve been schooled in the art of seizing and holding political power as we transform America one antiquated tradition and constitutional clause at a time. Now I work in Hollywood, where I’ve perfected the game pioneered by such pros as Machiavelli, Saul Alinsky, and Al Capone, father of the immortal Chicago Way. Read on and learn from our time-tested techniques:
 
• Know your enemy, his intentions, his weapons, and his weaknesses. You too can play relentless, on-message hardball with every scandal, hypocrisy, lie, and fundamentally flawed policy your adversaries dish up.
• Become what you behold. Adopt some of our scorched-earth tactics, best described in David Mamet’s Untouchables: “They pull a knife, you pull a gun.”
• Take no prisoners. Attack our premises, expose their true nature and consequences, and pin them on us, hard.
• Never cede anything to the other side, philosophically speaking. Force the Left to argue facts, not emotions. We hate that.
• Treat us with the same respect we give you. None.
• It is better to be feared than liked, especially by your enemies. And it helps to show up for the fight. (Note to past and future Republican candidates.)
 
Why am I telling you all this? Because I thrive on making trouble and, frankly, because I’m proud of what my team has done. Between us, I don’t think it matters if I turn over our playbook to you at this late date. I don’t think you can get it together to stop us now. Plus, I got a lot of money.

Happy reading, America! You think you can take us down? Go for it. I dare you.

Publishers Weekly

The pseudonymous columnist for the National Review Online ("a kind of reverse Stephen Colbert), Kahane showcases his conservative philosophies in all their prescient glory. A time-travelling Ginsbergian introduction makes it clear that this is a battle cry, not a think piece: "I was present when the Sodomites came for Lot's sons and rejected his living daughters... I was there at Belshazzar's Feast, when the moving hand writ large upon the wall: mene, mene tekell upharsin... I was there when Pilate washed his hands of the Christ, when the Czar and his family were murdered, when Oswald's bullet went through the back of Jack Kennedy's head." Kahane's fondness for language often lends his rebuttals of liberal thought a beat poet's madness; the whole enterprise, however, reads more like a rant than coherent thought, making it difficult at times to find the needle of argument in his haystack of propaganda. Those who follow Kahane (the name of the screenwriter in The Player who was murdered behind the Rialto theater) will no doubt be delighted; those you don't will of course steer clear, taking the author's lead in making no attempt whatsoever to find common ground. (Sept.)