Metal Gear Solid Book

Metal Gear Solid is my favorite video game of all-time. It's an intense and intelligent sci-fi espionage thriller with a gritty, dark atmosphere, a complex story that weaves through deep conspiracy theories and philosophies, unique and memorable characters, and it has just enough silly camp and self-awareness to make it absolutely fun alongside being totally compelling. Hideo Kojima's masterpiece is a work that truly transcends the video game medium into interactive cinematic art.

Unfortunately, the Metal Gear Solid novelization is garbage. Raymond Benson doesn't understand the characters at all and most of the action and whatnot just reads like a transcription of someone playing the video game, which isn't very interesting when I'm trying to read a book. Reading about how Snake keeps sneaking around grabbing stray hand grenades in boxes and a billion different guns just doesn't work when the prose is bad and boring.

There's also the aggravating fact that Snake keeps spouting off cringy, totally out-of-character one-liners that most of the time don't even make sense, such as:

"Merry Christmas," Snake said as he delivered two power-house punches, left and then right, into the guards' faces. The soldiers plopped to the floor. "I forgot to tell you ' Christmas is early this year."

Or he just has really dumb thoughts all the damn time, like when he finds the Kevlar vest and thinks: You don't find too many of these in Cracker Jack boxes! There's one particularly mind-blowingly awful moment in the sequence where he's running from the Hind-D helicopter between two towers that are being increasingly engulfed in flames and basically thinks "these towers are on fire, but at least it's not as bad as 9/11!" I just...what the actual fuck.

The only time it's actually any good is when he's just copying the cutscenes and dialogue verbatim, but none of that is even actually his own creation so he doesn't even get any points there, especially when in most of these moments he's throwing in his own shitty dialogue and prose, completely ruining any tension or drama in the scenes.

This book is an embarrassment to the legacy of Kojima's creation, and the fact that he was brought back to write the Sons of Liberty novelization is absolutely amazing (and I hate myself for feeling the need to read it at some point as well).