Toxic Friends: The Antidote for Women Stuck in Complicated Friendships Book

A woman can always count on are her friends—right? But what if those friendships are hurtful, harmful, even toxic? Susan Shapiro Barash explores the ten types of female friends and shows you why and how women get stuck with the worst kinds, the ways to get “unstuck, and how to recognize a true friend.” For example:

• The Leader of the Pack—it’s all on her terms

• The Doormat—and why you’re the one paying the price

• The Misery Lover—she wants to feel your pain. Really.

• The User—and why you seldom see her coming

• The Trophy Friend—and what you gain from each other

Provocative and fascinating, Susan Shapiro Barash looks at the bonds (and bondage) of female friendships in a new light.

Publishers Weekly

For her latest book on women's relationships, Barash (Tripping the Prom Queen), who teaches gender studies at Marymount Manhattan College, interviewed 200 women of assorted backgrounds and ages, and found that women's friendships are not the bed of roses that popular culture makes them out to be. While highly valued by women, friendships tend to be difficult, draining and sometimes devastating. For example, 65% stay friends with a woman who is difficult in some way, and 80% say they are competitive with their female friends. This ambivalence leads to paradoxical behavior such as clinging to a shallow “Trophy Friend,” one of 10 types of friends Barash analyzes. Others include the Leader, the Doormat, the Sacrificer and the Authentic Friend. While she can appear glib and one must wade through all the depressing—though juicy—stories to get to the “good” friends, Barash skillfully channels her interviewees' experiences and convinces that these real and raw friendships are the norm: “When it comes to the glittering prizes of life, women congregate, even if there are undercurrents of envy, jealousy, and competition in the relationships.” (Oct. 13)