Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't Book

Evil is defined in the Bible as anything that is harmful, or not beneficial, to your spiritual growth. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend apply this principle to relationships, with the challenge to evaluate yourself and your relationships with other people. God made people to be dependent on each other for love, encouragement, and support. A healthy relationship always involves honesty, acceptance, wise counsel, and confrontation. All of these are necessary for growth. The quality of your relationship with people is an indicator of your spiritual growth.

If the friendships in your life are not giving you the support and honesty you need, they are not helping you: they are not safe. Unsafe people don't see their problems, so they don't change. If you are too afraid to tell the truth to others, you will be taken advantage of, manipulated, and ultimately hurt. If someone is unwilling to face up to their part in things, you can't have reconciliation. Just as God has forgiven and restored us, we should desire restoration in our own relationships. Every healthy relationship is founded in mutual honesty and love. These relationships will be satisfying. They build you up and spur you on to great things!