I wish I'd said that ! Book

When some years ago, knowing ten words of English and using them all wrong, I applied for a translator's job, my would be employer (or would-be-not-employer) softly remarked: 'I afraid your English is somewhat unorthodox.' This translated into any continental language would mean: EMPLOYER (to the commissionaire): 'Jean, kick this gentleman down the steps!'

The Hungarian George Mikes wrote this brief introduction to living in the UK shortly after WWII. While not entirely au courant it does, unlike many a guide to life in the UK, provide you with helpful advice about what to do if you become a bus driver or what to say if you get elected to the House of Commons.

Short. enjoyable and highly recommended for time travellers.