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Foreword | vii | |
Acknowledgments | ix | |
Introduction | xv | |
The Problem | 1 | |
1 | Sort Out the Three Conversations | 3 |
Shift to a Learning Stance | 21 | |
The "What Happened?" Conversation | 23 | |
2 | Stop Arguing About Who's Right: Explore Each Other's Stories | 25 |
3 | Don't Assume They Meant It: Disentangle Intent from Impact | 44 |
4 | Abandon Blame: Map the Contribution System | 58 |
The Feelings Conversation | 83 | |
5 | Have Your Feelings (Or They Will Have You) | 85 |
The Identity Conversation | 109 | |
6 | Ground Your Identity: Ask Yourself What's at Stake | 111 |
Create a Learning Conversation | 129 | |
7 | What's Your Purpose? When to Raise It and When to Let Go | 131 |
8 | Getting Started: Begin from the Third Story | 147 |
9 | Learning: Listen from the Inside Out | 163 |
10 | Expression: Speak for Yourself with Clarity and Power | 185 |
11 | Problem-Solving: Take the Lead | 201 |
12 | Putting It All Together | 217 |
A Road Map to Difficult Conversations | 235 | |
A Note on Some Relevant Organizations | 249 |
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