Rules of the Game: The Stylelife Challenge, the Routines Collection and the Style Diaries Book

Some notes:

One exercise: call a wrong number and get the person who answers to recommend a movie. "The point isn't just to talk with strangers. It's to learn how to change the course of an interaction without making the other person uncomfortable." - p29

"'Rejection' is another word that has been misused and misrepresented. The dictionary definition of 'reject" is 'to refuse to accept.' So if you offer someone a stick of gum, and she says 'No thanks,' you've been rejected. Do you feel an emotional sting? Probably not. / If you invite someone to a social event, and she says 'No thanks,' it shouldn't be any different. But for most people it is different, and here's why: When the gum is rejected, we think the person doesn't want the gum. But when we extend and invitation and get rejected, we think she doesn't want us. / But how could she possibly have decided she doesn't want us? She's known us only for a short while. She's practically a complete stranger. She doesn't know how great we are, the way our friends and family do. Why do we value her opinion over theirs?" - p50

"You can open by saying almost anything when you're confident, congruent, and upbeat....Next time you see someone you want to talk to, open your mouth and say the first thing that comes to mind. As long as your comment or question isn't rude or hostile, you may be surprised by how difficult it is to get solidly rejected." - p51

"Chris Rock has a routine in which he explains that anything a man says to a woman translates as 'How about some dick?'" Your goal is to start a conversation with a woman without saying 'How about some dick?'" - p56

"Make sure you pay attention to the men in a group. If they feel you're not respecting or acknowledging them, they'll try to end the interaction." - p59

Don't open by asking a question; they can say no and shut you down. Don't begin by apologizing; "starting a conversation this way makes you sound insecure at best and like a panhandler at worst." - p59

One of the best openers is to get advice on a personal story. You can get opinions, start a conversation. - p60

Good openers have a root (why you're asking) and a time constraint (to reassure that you're not going to stick around forever). - p63

"There is no such thing as rejection, only feedback." - p69

"Who do you blame when something goes wrong during an approach? If you catch yourself saying a situation was impossible, the guys were jerks, or the woman was just a 'bitch,' then you're wrong. It's your fault. It's always your fault. And that's a good thing, because it means you're in control." - p69

"To disqualify a woman, demonstrate early in an interaction that you're not interested in her. Even though you may be chasing her, disqualification turns the tables and makes her want to chase you." - p74

But don't disqualify a woman who might feel you're out of her league. - p75

Women test men. "Men normally sit there answering the questions like they're on a game show, hoping that if they accumulate enough points, she'll choose them. What they don't realize is that they're losing points simply by submitting to the test." - p75

Couple disqualification with qualification (acceptance): the push-pull. - p77

On the differences between men and women: There is "research estimating that 75% of gay men in San Francisco have had more than one hundred partners (25% have had more than one thousand), while in contrast most lesbians have had fewer than ten partners in their lifetime." - p110

"Over dinner one night, the Stylelife coaches and I were reviewing the topics women seem to enjoy discussing most. One was relationships, another was spirituality, and a third was animals." - p222

"See that guy over there? He just told me he knows kung fu. Why do you think he would say that to me out of the blue?" - p226

"Can you hold on to this for a sec? ... Thanks ... A friend of mine taught me that the best way to butt into a conversation is to give someone something to hold. And I wanted to test it out." - p227

Good bar trick: the five questions bet. - p235

Good way to ramp up physicality: the quadruple hand test, Style's kiss close. - p255, p257

"As she hit the mattress, a giggle dislodged." - p309

"I once told the story of Sleeping Beauty to a young cousin of mine. 'How can a prince fall in love with a girl who's sleeping?' she asked afterward." - p331

"Every single man needs a sexually adventurous woman to distract him from the fact that he's unloved." - p333