Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic Book

Warning: this review is kind of long because I want to remember certain things before I return this to the library.

I have had this book recommended to me by several people but had never read it because I didn't think my kids were "spirited". They aren't hyper, but I was totally misunderstanding the use of the word. The opening page of this books says "I ... secretly needed to talk with other parents who understood what is was like to live with a child who could scream for 45 minutes because his toast had been cut in triangles when he was expecting rectangles." That has happened several times in our house so, when I read that, I knew this book was for me.

After reading this book I would say that two of my kids fall in the spirited category and one in the spunky category. And hopefully the last one is in the mellow easy category. :)

This book helped me understand my children better and gave me a few techniques for dealing with them. I think mostly you have to learn what is best for your own child by trial and error, but this book helped me recognize that a child isn't trying to drive me crazy because she won't wear certain clothes or goes on and on about the scent at the hair place-- she is just extremely sensitive, more so than I am, and now I recognize that.

I also found the discussion about introverts and extroverts helpful.
Introverts need time on their own to refuel. They need to take a break from people when they have been overstimulated.

A lot of it focussed on changing the labels we use to be more positive. For instance one of my children is extremely perceptive. This is a positive trait when it comes to artwork, she remembers details that others do not see. But it becomes a problem when she is so distracted by all the details around her that she doesn't listen to directions. This book recommended a soft touch and eye contact to be sure a child hears you. Send your message in many different ways like writing, demonstrating, pictures, etc. Keep directions simple so they don't get distracted by a list of steps.

When lizzy was in one of her all out tantrums I skipped ahead to the chapter about tantrums. It is mostly about prevention. I know I shouldn't have taking her shopping close to her nap and lunch time but sometimes you just can't avoid it. I was hoping for a sure fire way to end the tantrum, but it wasn't there. It did help me recognize a pattern in her tantrums so hopefully I can do a little more prevention.