The Witches Book

"A REAL WITCH hates children with a red-hot sizzling hatred that is more sizzling and red-hot than any hatred you could possibly imagine." So starts a splendiferous tale about a young boy telling his personal story about the absolute horrors of being turned into a mouse after having some run-in with the real witches! Although these witches weren't quite the cannibalistic ones found in "Hansel and Gretel", they, nonetheless, attract children with a smorgasbord of treats, confectioneries, and dainty sweets! One way or the other, the kids disappear without a trace ' some being incorporated into an oil-painting, others turned into stones, and some into fowls. Talk about abduction! The commonality that witches share was their unutterable loathing towards innocent children which was deeply unparalleled as most often, witches prefer to squish, squash, mash, bash, and fry their victims to oblivion and would always be busy "plotting and scheming and churning and burning and whizzing and phizzing with murderous bloodthirsty thoughts". Quite distressing, I must say! I wouldn't do that to kids. However, I'd prefer to use that kind of coldness towards some repulsive grown-ups that I've met in life. Definitely, the inner warlock within me would love to break them, slash them, or even give them the white-hot sparks: "A stupid vitch who answers back
Must burn until her bones are black!
A foolish vitch vithout a brain
Must sizzle in the fiery flame!
An idiotic vitch like you
Must rrroast upon the barbecue!
A vitch who dares to say I'm wrrrong
Vill not be vith us very long!" Dandy and dotty, isn't it? I must admit that real witches do exist in real life like those in the form of a wolf in sheep's clothing ' wearing some mask to conceal their true identity or even purpose, for that matter. Others you might not need to call out as you'd be frizzled to a fritter when you "out" them in such a reckless manner! It is imperative that one knows how to recognise the devilry of "witches" here and one should be well-equipped! As Grandmamma puts it, "You won't last long in this world if you don't know how to spot a witch when you see one."

Dahl has stupendously delivered another dark yet whimsical story! Quite a tale really and it's okay to be a mouse (although frightening) in a world full of cats, witches, or humans as long as the mouse is cunning enough to circumnavigate the world and be one of the Davids against all the other Goliaths that one has to face throughout our lifetime. It is also often imperative to let others know just by giving them a taste of their own medicine! Pardon me as I need to acquire a blabbersnitch's beak, catspringer's tongue, crabcruncher's claw and some other materials to go into my cauldron. And where's my wig, hat, nose, and shoes? I'll be needing those to alter my appearance! Blimey! I might have bloody mixed them all in! "It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like so long as somebody loves you." Audiobook rating (narrated by Miranda Richardson):
Narrative voice & style - ★★★★★
Vocal characterisation - ★★★★★
Inflexion & intonation - ★★★★★
Voice quality - ★★★★★
Audiobook verdict - ★★★★★ (Exquisite performance, superbly brilliant, a must-have!)