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Acknowledgments viii
Introduction 1
How This Book Is Different 3
Do the Math 5
Who This Book Is For 7
Part I Your Ex's Play book
1 Getting to Know His Playbook 10
Memory: Your Go-To Player 13
Two Crucial Points 15
2 Your Ex's Defensive Plays 16
"We Need to Talk" 17
Recommended X-ing Strategies 21
"I Can Change" 21
"Don't Throw It All Away" 32
"I Can't Live Without You" 35
"I Can Give You What You Need" 38
3 Your Ex's Offensive Plays 41
"This Is Your Fault" 41
"It's Not My Fault? 48
"I Know All Your Secrets" 58
"I Just Want to Be Friends" 63
"What About the Children?" 67
"You're Going to Be Sorry" 72
Part II Surefire Strategies for X-ing Your Ex
4 Standing Behind Your Truth 78
Cut Off Communication 79
Take Pride in Your Pride 82
Test His Words 86
Use a Freedom Journal 87
Reclaim Your Instincts 88
See Him for Who He Really Is 89
Don't Use the "Good Man" Excuse 90
5 Setting Yourself Up for Success 94
Mum's the Word 95
Don't Be There 97
Shut Down Friends with Messages 98
Forgive Yourself 99
Take Your Own Advice 102
Mourn the Loss of the Salesman 105
Keep Your Eyes on the Prize 106
Put Your Happiness First 107
6 Getting Fit for the Road Ahead 113
The Top Ten Mistakes 116
The One Question That Will Make You Fail 123
The Risks of Healing 125
Thinking: A Spectator Sport 127
Breaking Up Breakup Myths 128
No Drinking and Dialing 137
The "L" Word: Loneliness 140
Conclusion: You're Worth It 146
Resources 149
Appendix: For Friends and Family Members Who Want to Help 151
Index 163
For more information about the book and its author, to sign up for support and information by e-mail, and for notification of the author's seminars and lectures, visit XThatEx.com.
Important Note
The material in this book is intended to help women end destructive or dangerous relationships. Every effort has been made to provide accurate and dependable information. The contents of this book have been compiled through professional research and in consultation with other mental-health specialists. However, the reader should be aware that professionals in the field have differing opinions.
Therefore, the publisher, author, and editors, as well as the professionals quoted in the book, cannot be held responsible for any error, omission, or dated material. The author and publisher assume no responsibility for any outcome of applying the information in this book in a program of self-care or under the care of a licensed practitioner. If you have questions concerning your relationships, or about the application of the information described in this book, consult a qualified mental-health professional. If you are in a violent or potentially violent relationship or have any questions about abuse of any kind, please call a domestic-abuse hotline.
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