Vampire: the Requiem Book

Okay this is mine.

*scuff toes*.

It was a present from H who is entertained by my adolescent fondness for Vampire: The Masquerade.

What can I say about this? It's a White Wolf game so its systems are built around the assumption that your players are dickheads who want to derail, interfere with and generally disrespect your storytelling genioos. As such, when it's fun, it's fun in spite of itself.

Combat is slightly more streamlined than Masquerade but you still get the feeling you are somehow Letting the Side Down by engaging in it. Because this is a STORYTELLING game, not a game for, y'know, enjoying.

It's also still got that thing where your vampire powers are dependent on semi-arbitrary stats and skills so in order to be even semi-competent at anything you basically have to choose your skills to fit your disciplines rather than, say, your character.

And most sessions are spent going "sorry, what's my second obfuscate power again, and what do I roll?" and then flicking frantically going the the book "I think it allows you conceal small objects about your person, oh no, wait, that's the one that lets you be invisible and you need to roll dexterity plus ... horse riding."

But, hey, that's tabletop gaming for you. Ten minutes of fun crammed into four hours of play.

Also it has the on-going Vampire problem of critical failures being hilariously difficult to articulate.

Here is a sample of actual play:

W: Okay, so ... I have this power that lets me talk to animals, I think? I think?
Me: *thumbing frantically through rule book* Uh, yes. Feral Whispers: You can communicate with and control animals, individually or in groups.
W: Great, so there's bound to be animals around. We can ask if they know anything about this murder.
D: Sounds like a plan.
W: Uh, how do I do that?
Me: *thumbing frantically through rule book* Manipulation plus animal ken plus animalism.
W: Manipulation? I don't have any manipulation. Why the fuck would I take manipulation? I'm supposed to be this bestial monster savager guy.
Me: Just ... like ... roll what you have?
W: Okay, what animals are around?
Me: Um, in Oxford at night? I guess there's pigeons maybe?
W: I'm not talking to pigeons. That's undignified.
Me: Beetles?
W: No.
Me: Squirrels?
W: Fine, squirrels. I'll try to talk to the squirrels about the murder. *rolls* Okay, I've critically failed.
Me: Right, so the squirrels won't talk to you.
W: I've been snubbed by squirrels.
H: Wasn't that a botch though?
Me: You mean, it has to be worse than that? Look, I honestly have no idea what a spectacular failure to talk to squirrels would look like. I guess they're pissed off. Your name is black-listed among the Oxfordshire squirrel population. Whenever they see you coming they throw nuts at you.

And there you have it. A storytelling game of personal horror.