Global Village Idiot: Dubya, Dumb Jokes, and One Last Word Before You Vote Book

	Introduction	1
	Glossary	5
	Not such a "Super Tuesday" if Dubya wins it ...	8
	The end of the world is nigh - appoint a task force	14
	From here to paternity	17
	Ecumenical with the truth	20
	Don't ban fox hunting - it's far too unpopular	23
	I give you my heart (and my kidneys and pancreas)	27
	www.over-hyped.com	30
	And the award for the best awards ceremony ...	33
	Snobs' Borstal; only [pound]15,000 a year	36
	So what happened to the peace dividend?	39
	Why was Mother Nature a single mum?	42
	Charity begins a long way from home	45
	Anarchy and apathy in the UK	48
	Ship of fools	53
	Gawd bless yer, ma'am	56
	Keep the pink flag flying	59
	The war is over	62
	Microsoft world	65
	A midsummer's night dome	68
	Missile impossible, part two	71
	Afghan hounds welcome; Afghan people join the back of the line	74
	New balls, please	77
	57 channels and nothing on	80
	Hoarding the countryside	83
	Own goal	86
	Vous etes dans l'armee, maintenant	89
	A man is robbed every twenty minutes (and he's getting pretty fed up with it)	92
	Britain lashed by hurricane!	95
	The 43rd president of the United States is - er ...	98
	Only 16 shoplifting days left till Christmas	102
	Nature versus nurture - away win	106
	Artificial intelligence is over my head	109
	The spies with the golden pension plan	112
	More hot air from George Bush	115
	U R sckd	118
	Not being patriotic: no one does it like us Brits	121
	Some coke with your champagne?	124
	Dubya gets his first passport	127
	Choose the sex of your child	130
	After you with the trough	133
	Product placemeNt sIcKEns me	136
	Clone-age man	139
	The scientists are making it all up	145
	Welcome to England; Smacking Area - 200 yards	149
	Prince Edward - stalker laureate	152
	Lack of identity cards	155
	Time to loosen our belts	158
	How do you solve the problem of Osama?	161
	Snakes and property ladders	164
	Fundamentally anti-faith schools	170
	Osama's Christmas message	173
	Tyson bites yer legs	176
	As English as baseball itself	179
	War! Hurr! What is it good for?	182
	Does the working class exist?	185
	Sunday Dads	188
	God bless the World Cup	191
	In-flight entertainment	197
	No sex please, we're teenage boys	200
	Off with her head!	203
	Talking rubbish	206
	Computerised GIs	209
	Never mind the terrorists, it's the accountants I'm worried about	212
	Rats!	216
	Soccer fans are revolting	219
	I'm a world leader, get me out of here!	222
	French lessons	225
	Give thanks that Britain doesn't have Thanksgiving	231
	Weapons of mass distraction	234
	Miss World shows her age	237
	Election battle	240
	Off the wall	243
	That's slaughtertainment!	246
	Free market forces	249
	McDonald's to go, please	252
	The thief of Baghdad	255
	An American in Paris (in a Sherman tank)	258
	I don't want spam!	261
	United [Nations crossed out in text] States	264
	Acknowledgments	271
	A note on the type	273