Comic Poems Book

	News Item	19
	'Wig, rouge, honey'	19
	Their Sex Life	19
	Epigram VI.57	20
	Epigram IX.33	20
	Boston	20
	'Diophon'	21
	'Hermogenes is rather short'	21
	A Case	21
	Twins	22
	'Busts and bosoms have I known'	22
	'I like a woman built on ample lines'	22
	This Englishwoman	22
	Fatigue	23
	Variation on Belloc's 'Fatigue'	23
	Resume	23
	'Mean old Hermon'	24
	The Hardship of Accounting	24
	Epigram	24
	Human Life	25
	Cherry White	25
	Some are Born	26
	Common Sense	26
	The Question	26
	Company	27
	Samson Agonistes	27
	'Man stole fire'	27
	'Having slept with a man'	28
	Prophetic Soul	28
	Two Cures for Love	28
	'Eutychus the painter'	29
	Reflection of Ice-breaking	29
	Genealogical Reflection	29
	Reminiscent Reflection	30
	Crossing the Border	30
	Epigram II.38	31
	On Rutt the Judge	31
	Treason	31
	On Certain Ladies	32
	On Taking a Wife	32
	Swans Sing Before They Die	32
	Juliet	33
	The Reward	33
	Relativity	37
	Mind and Matter	37
	Determinism	37
	'A young schizophrenic named Struther'	38
	Idealism	38
	A Reply	38
	'There was a young lady of Riga'	39
	'There was an old man of Boulogne'	39
	'There was an old party of Lyme'	39
	'When Daddy and Mum got quite plastered'	39
	Bump!	40
	Drusilla	40
	Edouard	40
	Arthur	41
	Benjamin	41
	Carlotta	41
	Requiem	42
	'A Young Person came out of the mists'	42
	'As the poets have mournfully sung'	42
	'There was an Old Man with a beard'	43
	'There was an Old Lady of Chertsey'	43
	'There was an Old Man whose despair'	43
	'There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!"'	43
	Nomenclaturik	44
	Oscar Wilde	45
	D. G. Rossetti	45
	Alexandre Dumas and His Son	45
	George Gissing	46
	Walter Savage Landor	46
	From Biography for Beginner: J. S. Mill	47
	From Biography for Beginner: 'The intrepid Ricardo'	47
	From Biography for Beginner: '"No, air," and General Sherman'	47
	From Biography for Beginner: George III	47
	From Biography for Beginner: Adam Smith	47
	From Academic Graffiti: 'Lord Byron'	48
	From Academic Graffiti: 'Henry Adams'	48
	From Academic Graffiti: 'Henry James'	48
	From Academic Graffiti: 'When Karl Marx'	48
	From Academic Graffiti: 'Cardinal Newman'	48
	B Kw rtn	51
	Lapsus Linguae	51
	Faults	52
	40-Love	52
	Tenuous and Precarious	53
	The Ceiling	54
	Tarantella	55
	'In this mirror'	56
	No!	57
	A Ternarie of Littles, Upon a Pipkin of Jellie Sent to a Lady	58
	The Carcajou and the Kincajou	59
	The Modern Hiawatha	59
	The Mad Gardener's Song	60
	From the Embassy	62
	The Waif	63
	What the Spider Heard	64
	The Fly	65
	Spring in the Bronx	65
	A Little Lamb	65
	Rillons, Rillettes	66
	Private Means is Dead	67
	V. B. Nimble, V. B. Quick	68
	Squeeze Play	69
	In the Dumps	69
	Vendetta	70
	Jabberwocky	71
	The Termite	72
	Symptom Recital	75
	For an Amorous Lady	76
	Take Me in Your Arms, Miss Moneypenny-Wilson	77
	'The author loving these homely meats'	79
	'On sunny days'	80
	'The impudence of some people'	80
	'While describing to her best friend'	80
	'He marvelled at her breasts'	80
	Alice is at It Again	81
	A True Maid	84
	A Song of a Young Lady to Her Ancient Lover	85
	The Old Man's Complaint: By Mr. Wells	87
	Always True to You in My Fashion	88
	Love Me Little, Love Me Long	91
	Elinor Glyn	91
	Fatal Love	92
	One Perfect Rose	93
	Ich liebe solche weisse Glieder	94
	Ending	95
	The Trouble with Women is Men	96
	A Word to Husbands	98
	Autumn	98
	St. Ives	99
	Hot and Cold	99
	The Mistake	100
	Sucking Cider Through a Straw	101
	The Newlyweds	102
	On Kant's Definition of Marriage in The Metaphysics of Ethics	103
	Spectator ab extra	107
	Recipe for a Salad	108
	Peas	109
	The Bun	109
	Sonnet to Vauxhall	110
	Smelt and Tasted	111
	Heard and Seen	112
	The 'Satire'	113
	The Comming of Good Luck	113
	Blisse	114
	Divided Destinies	115
	Look for the Silver Lining	117
	Hotel	118
	Praise is a Mirror	119
	The Nightmare	120
	Complaint to Four Angels	123
	Epigram V.9	125
	Epigram IV.70	125
	I've been to a Marvellous Party	126
	The Party Next Door	130
	Evening Musicale	132
	Stately as a Galleon	133
	A Literary Dinner	135
	Vers de Societe	136
	How Pleasant to Know Mr. Lear	141
	Posterity	143
	Henry King	144
	The Purist	145
	Upon Clunn	146
	The Tank	148
	Miss Clegg	149
	Mad Dogs and Englishmen	150
	Lines for Cuscuscaraway and Mirza Murad Ali Beg	154
	Yes and No	157
	The Latest Decalogue	158
	I Had Duck-billed Platypus	159
	In a Copy of More's (or Shaw's or Wells's or Plato's or Anybody's) Utopia	161
	On a General Election	162
	The Solution	162
	Low Down Sandcastle Blues	163
	A Modest Politician	164
	Epitaph on a Politician	164
	Lord Finchley	164
	The Pacifist	164
	The World State	165
	Lord Lundy	166
	There Lived a King	170
	The Ewart Organization	172
	Guns Before Butter	173
	High Sugar	174
	Bloomsbury Snapshot	177
	Reproof Deserved, or After the Lecture	178
	The Black Box	180
	Cacoethes Scribendi	181
	On His Books	181
	From The Second Part of Absalom and Achitophel	182
	'You cannot hope to bribe or twist'	184
	'A critic is a creature who has views'	184
	On a Lady who P - st at the Tragedy of Cato	185
	Academic	185
	To Minerva	186
	Philological	186
	The Uncertainty of the Poet	187
	The Pig	191
	The Wasp	191
	The Frog Prince	192
	The Frog	194
	The Octopus	195
	The Eel	195
	The Rabbit	195
	To a Mouse	196
	Mouse	198
	Carp	198
	Epigram III.35 ('Instant Fish')	199
	To a Fish	199
	A Fish Answers	200
	The Python	201
	The Cobra	202
	An Appeal to Cats in the Business of Love	202
	The Blind Sheep	203
	The Grackle	204
	The Hippopotamus	204
	The Hippopotamus Song	205
	Mollusc	207
	Epigram ('I am his Highness' dog')	208
	The Dog	208
	The Cow	208
	The Louse	209
	The Bunyip	210
	Opportunity	213
	Mr. Jones	213
	L'Enfant glace	213
	Nothing to Fear	214
	My Dad was Worried	215
	Lean Gaius	215
	To His Skeleton	216
	Arithmetic on the Frontier	217
	Waste	219
	Yes, I Know	219
	All Things Pass	219
	A Toccata of Galuppi's	220
	'Give me a doctor'	224
	On Mary Ann	225
	On Will Smith	225
	At Potterne, Wiltshire	225
	Epigram I.16	226
	Epitaph on Charles II	226
	Here Lies a Philosopher	266
	'The angler rose'	227
	Epitaph on an Unfortunate Artist	227
	From Tombstones in the Starlight	228
	A Dentist	229
	At Great Torrington, Devon	229
	At Aberdeen	229
	Epitaph in St. Olave's, Southwark, on Mr. Munday	230
	On a Tired Housewife	230
	Acknowledgments	231
	Index of Authors	239