Playboy December 2002

COVER STORY
Not since Bettie Page has a fetish model inspired such passion as cover girl Dita von Teese. She's the queen of kinky pleasures (bow down). PLAYBOY had Contributing Photographer Arny Freytag strap on a camera while she slipped out of her handcuffs and vinyl—and out of her clothes. Our Rabbit is armed for fun.

FEATURES
74 HOW TO SAVE YOUR ASS IN A SCANDAL
We're human. Sooner or later we all make mistakes. And somebody always knows about them. Be sure to memorize these rules—it's the only way to avoid the stockade. BY JAMIE MALANOWSKI
102 CELEBRITY CHRISTMAS CAROLS
It's that time of year again. Dick and W reconsider career choices, Mike Piazza dons gay apparel and Cardinal Law hums "What Child Is This." BY ROBERT S. WIEDER
104 HOLLYWOOD'S UNSOLVED MYSTERIES
Who bludgeoned Bob Crane? Did Natalie Wood fall, or was she pushed? How did Superman die? Tinseltown's longest-running hits are all about death with a whiff of scandal. BY STEVE POND
110 LIVE FROM NEW YORK: SNL STILL KILLS
A writer for the original Saturday Night Live runs down every cast member of every year. For fans of American comedy, this one's a keeper. BY ANNE BEATTS
128 THE BEST DAMN JOB PERIOD
Fox' Best Damn Sports Show Period, the TV tailgate party, was tailor-made for Tom Arnold. "I get to show America my humor—dick, gay and fat jokes," he writes. An exclusive excerpt from the year's funniest book. BY TOM ARNOLD
131 SNOW FEAR
Maybe you watched those death-defying Olympians scream down the ice on skeletons. How about speed skiing at 140 mph? If you're an adrenaline buckaroo, here's your chance to join the fun. BY LARRY OLMSTED
137 PLAYBOY'S COLLEGE BASKETBALL PREVIEW
Our hoops experts have an amazing record in picking the brackets—so don't bet a buck until you've read this. BY GARY COLE AND DAVID KAPLAN
142 PLAYBOY'S ANNUAL MUSIC POLL
It's time to assess the past year's music scene—and we want to hear from you.
147 PINK AND HER AMAZING WONDERDOG, FUCKER
Pink talks about sex, drugs and getting arrested. (And her crazy canine.) BY ALISON PRATO
151 CENTERFOLDS ON SEX: HEIDI MARK
Heidi likes nipple clamps and handcuffs. But tattoos? Ouch, they hurt!
158 HOW TO MOTOR IN A MINI
Secrets to getting busy in BMW's tight little box. BY DONALD ERICKSON
160 20Q GREG KINNEAR
The star of Auto Focus and As Good As It Gets describes running through machine-gun fire in Lebanon, swears he didn't pay for those Loverboy tickets and says Arizona girls knock the socks off rival Arizona State girls. BY ROBERT CRANE

FICTION
94 THE DETECTIVE
Detective Larry Starczek worried about the usual things—getting a new garden hose, the line on tomorrow's hockey game. Then his job threw him into the dark realm of a gruesome triple murder at the local diner. BY SCOTT TUROW

INTERVIEW
67 DENZEL WASHINGTON
He's won a Best Actor Oscar and gets $20 million a picture. That's given him the power to direct his first feature and sound off on racism and some other isms in Hollywood, as well as on the rumor he won't do sex scenes. BY MICHAEL FLEMING

PICTORIALS
80 WOMEN OF WORLDCOM
You've watched their company unravel. Now comes the fun part.
114 PLAYMATE: LANI TODD
Lani loves to "change skins—a dominatrix one day, a rodeo girl the next." Our kind of lady.
152 SEX STARS
Nelly, Halle, Angelina, Anna K and Anna Nicole helped 2002's temperature rise.
162 DITA VON TEESE
The world's top fetish model turns us on.

NOTES AND NEWS
14 CALIFORNIA DREAMIN'
Hef's Midsummer Night's Dream party is the Oscars in lingerie.
16 CALIFORNIA DREAMIN' CONTINUED
Britney Spears, Matthew Perry and Ali Landry party like Puck.
57 THE PLAYBOY FORUM
Lenny Bruce, our hero; the United States of porn—an update.
199 PLAYMATE NEWS
The evolution of Anna Nicole, Hef's crib on MTV

DEPARTMENTS
3 PLAYBILL
19 DEAR PLAYBOY
23 AFTER HOURS
40 WIRED, GAMES, LIVING ONLINE
44 PLAYBOY TV
46 PLAYBOY.COM
48 MEN
51 MANTRACK
55 THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR
126 PARTY JOKES
184 WHERE AND HOW TO BUY
203 ON THE SCENE
204 GRAPEVINE
206 POTPOURRI

LIFESTYLE
88 PLAYBOY'S HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE
A Fiat 500, Nike driver, BMW bike—got your credit card out?
98 FASHION: MY BIG, FAT OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY
Act bad and look good—and hands off the boss' wife. BY JOSEPH DE ACETIS
134 DOWNED AND DIRTY
You know the naughty names. Now learn how to mix the girl-friendly drinks. BY RAY FOLEY
148 DMX STYLE GUIDE
The star rapper's look is as uncompromising as his music. BY JOSEPH DE ACETIS

REVIEWS
32 MOVIES
Halle is hot in 007, Leo is bad in Gangs of New York.
36 VIDEO
Holiday horrors, Star Wars.
38 MUSIC
Dot Allison, Ruben Blades and Tom Petty.
42 BOOKS
S&M, booze, bowling, cigars and cars—life's good at Christmas.