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When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses Book

When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses
When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses, To watch a child grieve and not know what to do is one of the most difficult experiences for parents, teachers, and caregives. And yet, there are guidelines for helping children develop a lifelong, healthy response to loss.
In When Children Grieve, Joh, When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses has a rating of 3 stars
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When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses, To watch a child grieve and not know what to do is one of the most difficult experiences for parents, teachers, and caregives. And yet, there are guidelines for helping children develop a lifelong, healthy response to loss. In When Children Grieve, Joh, When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses
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  • When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses
  • Written by author John W. James
  • Published by HarperCollins Publishers, June 2002
  • To watch a child grieve and not know what to do is one of the most difficult experiences for parents, teachers, and caregives. And yet, there are guidelines for helping children develop a lifelong, healthy response to loss. In When Children Grieve, Joh
  • This handbook will help parents and others model healthy attitudes to grief and loss to show children how to work through a loss. The commonsense suggestions include allowing emotions to be expressed without judgement and telling the truth about the adult
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Introduction: Put Your Oxygen Mask on Firstxii
Who Are We? And Why Have We Written This Book?xv
Part 1Monkey See, Monkey do1
Why Are You Reading This Book?3
Chapter 1What's the Problem and Whose Problem Is It?5
What's the Problem?6
What Is Grief, Anyway?7
Obvious and Hidden Losses8
Never Compare Losses8
Time Doesn't Heal--Actions Do9
Normal and Natural10
Crisis Behavior11
Between the Problem and the Solution: Six Major Myths12
Chapter 2Looking At Myth 1: Don't Feel Bad!14
Sweet but Dangerous15
Without Sadness, Joy Cannot Exist16
We Are Not Exaggerating16
Who's Responsible for Feelings?21
Chapter 3Looking at Myth 2: Replace the Loss, Part One24
All Relationships are Unique26
The Stolen Bicycle27
Toys and Dolls--Gone but Not Forgotten28
It's Time to Meet Leslie and Learn More about Cherished Possessions29
Replace the Loss, Part Two31
Chapter 4Looking at Myth 3: Grieve Alone33
Multigenerational Pass-Through34
Grieve Alone--A Closer Look36
Why Do People Grieve Alone?38
Is Alone Ever Okay?39
Here's Some Good News: Different Beliefs Produce Better Results For Children39
Pause to Reflect and Recap40
Chapter 5Looking at Myth 4: Be Strong42
Wait, There's More43
Strong or Human, Pick One!44
Chapter 6Looking at Myth 5: Keep Busy46
A Dangerous Illusion47
The Real Impact of Loss: Keeping Busy and Dwelling on Pain48
Dwelling on Pain Is Sometimes the Result of Not Being Heard50
Heard at Last51
Chapter 7Looking at Myth 6: Time Heals All Wounds54
Corporate Grief and Grief in the Classroom55
No Time Zones56
Part 2Moving From Grief to Recovery59
Chapter 8Looking for "The Book"61
John's Quest Continues64
Chapter 9What Is Incomplete Grief?67
Is Incomplete Grief Only about Bad Things?69
Chapter 10Helping the Helpers73
It's Easier to Fill an Empty Cup73
Scuba Diving Lessons74
The Critical Transition75
Boundless Capacity77
Delicate Strokes78
If Your Kids Are Older, Do Not Despair79
Do We Know Enough Yet?79
Chapter 11Short-Term Energy-Relieving Behaviors (S.T.E.R.B.s)80
Do You Know Where Your Child's Energy Is?82
Short-Term Relief Doesn't Work84
Recapping Part Two87
Part 3The Path to Completion89
What is Completion?
Chapter 12The Relationship Review91
Relationship Reviews Happen Automatically91
Who Goes First?92
Pick the Fruit When It's Ripe93
Chapter 13Real-Life Examples96
Out of the Mouths of Babes--Good-bye, Mr. Hamster96
All Grief Is Experienced at 100 percent98
The Death of a Pet98
Random Memories102
Chapter 14Helping Your Child Review the Relationship103
Sleeping in the Bed, or Not105
Minding the Steam Kettle106
Chapter 15The Emotional Energy Checklist107
Children and Their Pets: Reviewing Events and Emotions107
Emotional Energy Checklist: Death of a Pet110
Chapter 16What to Do with the Review113
Converting Emotional Energy Into Recovery Components113
Chapter 17Recovery Components116
Apologies First116
Apologies to Living People116
Apologies to People Who Have Died119
Should Parents Ever Apologize?119
Time Doesn't Create Completion: Actions Do120
Chapter 18Recovery Components: Forgiveness121
Forgiveness Is an Action, Not a Feeling123
Chapter 19Recovery Components: Significant Emotional Statements126
Are the Same Things Significant for Everyone?127
Some Significant Comments Require Forgiveness128
Fond Memories128
Recapping This Section129
Chapter 20Death of a Person132
Reviewing Relationships with People Who Have Died133
The Death of a Grandparent134
Uniqueness Is the Real Issue135
"Less Than Loved Ones"137
Complex Relationships137
Emotional Energy Checklist: Grandparent, Relative, or Close Acquaintance139
Recapping Part Three--Is It Soup Yet?143
Before We Move On, We Honor the Readers144
Part 4Moving from Discovery to Completion145
Chapter 21Continuing Litany vs. Freedom
Carrying the Litany Is a Heavy Load147
Exaggerated Memory Pictures149
Freedom Feels Better150
Chapter 22Zeroing In on Completion151
"Thumper"151
Chapter 23Delivering, Completing, and Saying Good-bye160
Leading Up to Jessica's Letter161
Jessica's Completion Letter to Thumper163
Entirely Different but Exactly the Same176
Chapter 24Very Close to NaNa169
Emotional Energy List--Grandparent, Relative, or Close Acquaintance176
Chronicling Events that Occur After a Death179
Amanda's Completion Letter to NaNa181
Chapter 25One More Letter183
Jeffrey's Letter184
New Discoveries185
What About Jeffrey's Sisters?186
Concluding Part Four187
Part 5Other Losses189
Focusing on Moving and Divorce189
Chapter 26The First Big Move191
Transitional Events193
Chapter 27What Not to Do194
Moving197
Chapter 28On Divorce199
Leslie Gets the First Word--The Divorce of My Parents199
Chapter 29Bad New--Bad News202
Long Term or Sudden Impact202
Whose Divorce Is It?203
Multiple Losses204
Sometimes We Get Lucky206
Don't Fix Feelings207
Don't Be Fooled--Relief Is Only the Last Feeling208
Noble Sentiments, but Hearts Are Still Broken209
One Central Issue201
Unique Is Still the Bottom Line211
Where Is the Focus?212
Taking Sides213
Children Sometimes Blame Themselves214
What Can You Do to Help?214
Leslie Gets the Last Word, Too215
Part 6Closing up Shop219
Chapter 30The "D" Word221
Illusion of Protection222
Solid and Clear Reference Point222
Sometimes the World Travels Backward223
Talking About Death with Your Child224
Curiosity Helps Children Learn226
Chapter 31Euphemisms + Metaphors = Confusion230
Chapter 32Four Weddings and a Funeral?234
Forty-five Years Later, but Who's Counting237
Chapter 33Win-Win240
Chloe and Carrie Sue and the Real Meaning of Time240
Three Generations242
Spencer's Accidental Owners244
Tuning In to Elizabeth247
The Grief Recovery Groupie249
Our Completion with You252
Questionnaire254
Acknowledgments261


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When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses, To watch a child grieve and not know what to do is one of the most difficult experiences for parents, teachers, and caregives. And yet, there are guidelines for helping children develop a lifelong, healthy response to loss.
In When Children Grieve, Joh, When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses

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When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses, To watch a child grieve and not know what to do is one of the most difficult experiences for parents, teachers, and caregives. And yet, there are guidelines for helping children develop a lifelong, healthy response to loss.
In When Children Grieve, Joh, When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses

When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses

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When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses, To watch a child grieve and not know what to do is one of the most difficult experiences for parents, teachers, and caregives. And yet, there are guidelines for helping children develop a lifelong, healthy response to loss.
In When Children Grieve, Joh, When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses

When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses

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