The New Topping Book Book

This was a solid intro book to topping/dom dynamics ' accessible writing, encouraging and non-judgemental language, a decent amount of nuance. It feels like Dossie and Janet are your kinky and occasionally problematic white lady aunties loud-whispering secrets to you in a movie theatre while making sure you're on your shit with safer sex.

There are a lot of things missing in this book, especially re: BDSM with/for BIPOC. It was incredibly irritating to see the blurb mention folks of colour when the section is literally two pages long'definitely a marketing tool to make the book appear more intersectional than it is. The BIPOC "section" (if you can call it that) is superficial and cringeworthy; it assumes a white readership and lacks an authentic and comprehensive analysis of how people of color have to navigate power, access, and desirability in kink. Janet and Dossie could have, for example, invited and paid a BIPOC to write about their experiences, or they could have reflected on their positions as white women in the BDSM community.

There was also a lot missing in regards to navigating ethics, trauma, and joy for/with fat folks and disabled folks ' for example, how might a person's ability to engage in normative D/S actions like kneeling and spanking be different based on size or ability?, or how might the impact of shame and punishment around movement affect fat and/or disabled folks differently than thin and/or abled people? I would have liked to see Janet and Dossie offer play alternatives for folks navigating these intersections, and provide a more sophisticated analysis of cultural and bodily barriers to BDSM.

A few other thoughts: I had a p. intense reaction reading about D/S scenes replicating historical and ongoing oppressions but I don't know enough to feel clear on where I stand. Don't read the last couple chapters of appropriative new age spirituality junk.

Good things: The book did a decent job talking about healing trauma through D/S dynamics, which I found intriguing. I found myself most interested when Janet and Dossie spoke about the psychology of topping, as well as sensory mindfulness, and I am curious to learn more. As an intro book, The New Topping Book does a pretty good job of opening a door to further exploration. I'm looking forward to checking out The New Bottoming Book, as well as resources written by trans/gnc and QTBIPOC kinksters.

3.5/5