Bloody Confused!: A Clueless American Sportswriter Seeks Solace in English Soccer Book

Acknowledgments     ix
Map     xii
Author's Note     xv
Common Sportswriter Malaise     1
Fumbling Around in Daylight     9
"F-ing Move!"     17
Is That Really Chelsea's Pitch?     24
A Twelve-Inch Digix in Camden     31
My Very Own Relegation Weekend     39
Sunday Contempt     47
Media-Inaccessible England     54
Two Months to Choose     61
Clueless     68
Knowing Too Much     74
Away Fan     80
The Best Goal in My Admittedly Limited Lifetime     86
I Hear My People     92
Europe     98
Away Fan Extraordinaire     105
The Distinct Horror of Rail Replacement     112
An FA Cup Debutant     119
Cheering for a Toilet-Seat Thief     125
"Have We Just ..."     130
Old Trafford     136
"We Were Mental"     142
Chimes and Mammals     150
Lonely Walks He Who Walks to Plainmoor     157
A Blackburn Fiasco     163
Never Miss a Chance to Hang Out in a Pub with a Blue Bear     170
Betraying a KindReading Fan     177
Just Disgusting     184
Rather Hopeless     191
You Have to Be Kidding Me     203
Not-Taken Roads     210
Adopted     217
It's Really the Heart of England     223
Elvis and the Beatles     230
One Goal from Europe     237
The Whole Meat Raffle of It All     244