Black Intimacies: A Gender Perspective on Families and Relationships Book

I really enjoyed this book. It was like having a conversation with some really smart, non-judgmental, successful friends. Granted, Justine and Joey Simmons are both a little self-congratulatory about all their monetary and personal success - to be fair, they have a lot to be proud of! - and they brag on their kids endlessly throughout, which even they acknowledge is a little annoying. However, while the title of the book may make it sound as though they've written an instruction manual, nothing can be farther from the truth. The Simmonses are determined to lead by example. Rather than tell you what to do to "take back your family" - by which they mean, strengthen your family unit, no matter what it looks like, and regardless of what "strong family unit" means to you - they just show you how THEY do it. Then they suggest how this might work for you.

The writing style was conversational without being patronizing or pandering. The book covers several topics, such as building strong marriages, imparting your values to your children, growing spiritually as a family and raising kids who are both humble and have self esteem in abundance. Rather than write it as a omniscient voice, Justine and Rev (Joey) Run decided to each write individual vignettes and segments for each topic in his or her own distinct voice. This really worked for me, because I felt very included in the conversation, rather than people just talking at me from some ivory tower. It was nice to see where they disagree and why they disagree with each other - this leads you to ponder the issues yourself and clarify your own values, which is just how it should be. Also, Justine seems to be more sentimental and compassionate, while Rev is more logical and analytical, so I think the book really profits from having topics dissected from both angles.

The book isn't exactly a blueprint, but they do provide some really positive templates, conversation starters and values clarification exercises that I think would benefit any family with kids. A lot of what they wrote about doesn't really apply to me. I mostly read this because I'm a fan of Rev's and the show, and was curious about a behind-the-scenes look at it all. For people like me, there's still a lot there and it's still worthwhile. I'm not giving it five stars because I do feel that it meanders a little and that the couple comes off as inadvertently smug a few times (I lost count of how many times Rev gleefully mentions his INDOOR BASKETBALL COURT!!! etc) but I'm still glad I read it.