The Bluffer’s Guide to Rugby Book

Crazy logic

With that indefinable sense of logic that pervades all the laws of rugby, the only direction that you are allowed to pass the ball is the opposite direction from the way you actually want to go.

Hazard to your health

Never run with the ball. If, by accident, you get the ball, pass it as quickly as possible. Running with the ball is very tiring and can be hazardous to your health. It is far better to let someone else take the blame for losing it to the opposition.

Fitness levels

Despite the lawmakers' attempt to make rugby faster and more exciting, it is still the only contact sport where you can get away with the same fitness levels as the average professional darts player.

Forward or back

The first thing to get right is whether you are a "forward" or a "back." In soccer the forwards are the fast, skillful ones who score the points and the backs are the big, vicious ones who try to injure forwards. In rugby, just to confuse, the situation is completely reversed. That is, except for New Zealand, where everyone is fast, skillful, big, and vicious.