Contents
Acknowledgments....................13
Foreword....................17
Introduction....................19
Author's Note....................21
PART ONE: RECOGNIZING THE PREDATORS: MOLESTERS, PEDOPHILES, AND OPPORTUNISTS 1. How prevalent is child sexual abuse?....................23
2. How do you define child sexual abuse?....................25
3. What are the differences between a pedophile, an opportunist, a molester, and a predator?....................27
4. What acts are considered sexually abusive?....................31
5. If the child consents, is it still considered sexual abuse?....................33
6. How prevalent is sexual abuse of males?....................34
7. Are "Peeping Toms" and people who expose themselves considered sex offenders?....................35
8. What is Megan's Law?....................37
9. What does a molester look like?....................39
10. What is "grooming"?....................40
11. Where do molesters seek their victims?....................42
12. Why are children susceptible to sexual abuse?....................43
13. Where do molesters live?....................44
14. Why do people molest?....................45
15. What is the relationship between pornography and child molestation?....................46
PART TWO: TALKING TO KIDS ABOUT RISKS AND RECOGNIZING POTENTIAL PROBLEMS 16. How often should I talk to my children about preventing sexual abuse?....................49
17. How can I teach my kids about personal safety without scaring them?....................51
18. Is it OK to tell my children news stories about sexually assaultedchildren?....................54
19. Are Internet predators different from other predators? Why are they so successful?....................55
20. What should my family's rules be regarding our children's use of the Internet?....................58
21. Should I allow my child on social-networking sites like MySpace, Facebook, or Second Life?....................60
22. Should I hack into my kids' computers and monitor their Web site usage?....................61
23. What factors make someone more likely to sexually abuse a child?....................63
24. What should I do about sleepovers?....................65
25. Can schools hire a teacher who has been accused of sex acts with children?....................67
26. Do schools do background checks on employees such as teachers, staff, and administrators?....................69
27. Should I let my child play outside in the neighborhood?....................70
28. How can I find out if registered sex offenders live near me?....................71
29. As a single mom, what should I do if I learn that the man I'm dating is a sex offender?....................73
30. As a divorced dad, is it OK if I bathe my preschool daughter?....................74
31. How should I screen a babysitter or nanny?....................75
32. Should I get a "nanny-cam" or other surveillance product?....................80
PART THREE: RECOGNIZING ABUSE 33. Should I report a suspected child abuser to the police or do I need tangible evidence?....................83
34. What are the signs that a child has been improperly touched?....................84
35. What are the potential warning signs of teacher misconduct?....................85
36. What are the qualities of unnatural sexual behavior?....................87
37. What do I do if I am uncomfortable with the way someone acted, even though he never touched my child or said anything directly sexual?....................88
38. What should I do if my child discloses sexual assault?....................89
39. What if I don't believe my child?....................90
40. How late is too late to report sexual abuse?....................91
41. Who are mandated reporters and what are their responsibilities?....................93
42. What should I do if I suspect a child, other than mine, is being touched?....................94
43. What is the difference between a SCAR and a police report?....................95
44. What makes kids disclose molestation?....................97
45. What makes kids not disclose molestation?....................98
46. How do I know if my child is telling the truth?....................98
47. Can a man or boy still have an erection or ejaculate if he is frightened?....................100
48. How is sexual assault related to abduction?....................101
49. What is an Amber Alert?....................102
PART FOUR: REPORTING SEXUAL ABUSE 50. What kind of evidence is considered "corroboration" of child sexual abuse?....................103
51. What are the general stages of crime scene investigation as it relates to child sexual assault?....................105
52. What happens if there is a sexual assault disclosure during a divorce case?....................108
53. Can a polygraph be used to validate a child's disclosure of sexual abuse?....................109
54. What is "child sexual abuse accommodation syndrome"?....................110
55. How do you find a predator whose identity my child doesn't know?....................111
56. Under what circumstances will Child Protective Services (CPS) take my child away from me?....................113
57. Whom should I call first if my child discloses sexual abuse?....................114
58. What will the police do if I report the abuse?....................115
59. Will an offending parent be deported if in this country illegally?....................116
60. What if the victim is not a citizen?....................117
61. What is a multidisciplinary team?....................118
62. What is a forensic interview?....................120
63. How many people will my child need to talk to?....................122
64. Will the interview be videotaped?....................123
65. Can I watch the interview?....................124
66. Will my child need to have a medical or physical exam? Is it invasive or painful?....................125
PART FIVE: GOING TO COURT 67. How do you determine whether a child can testify in court?....................127
68. What is the difference between criminal court, civil court, family court, and dependency court?....................130
69. What rights do victims have from governmental agencies?....................131
70. What makes a case qualify to be filed?....................133
71. What happens if a criminal case is not filed?....................134
72. Who files a criminal case and what can be charged?....................136
73. How long does a prosecutor have to file charges?....................138
74. What if the victim or parent does not want to file charges?....................139
75. Can a parent file a civil case?....................139
76. Can my child's identity be shielded?....................140
77. Are courtrooms closed in sexual assault cases?....................141
78. What are the typical stages of the criminal court process?....................142
79. How long does the criminal process take?....................146
80. How do you prepare a child to testify in court?....................146
81. What special procedures are in place for child sexual assault victims in court?....................148
82. If a case is filed, will my child need to testify in court?....................149
83. If my child has received a subpoena, what happens next?....................150
84. Can't my child just write out a statement or testify via closed-circuit TV?....................152
85. Can I watch my child testify?....................152
86. What are the typical defenses in child sexual assault cases?....................154
87. What is Jessica's Law?....................156
88. Does the victim have a say in the perpetrator's sentencing?....................157
89. What are the usual sentences/punishments for sex crimes?....................159
90. Is registering as a sex offender a lifelong requirement?....................160
91. Can child victims get a protective order or restraining order?....................161
92. What happens if my child or someone else receives threats from the perpetrator?....................162
PART SIX: HEALING AND MOVING ON 93. What kind of financial resources are available for the victim?....................165
94. Can molesters be cured?....................166
95. How should I talk to my child about the abuse?....................167
96. What is the usual healing process for a victim of abuse?....................168
97. Whose fault is it that my child was molested?....................171
98. Can my child victim turn into an adult perpetrator?....................172
99. Can I tell my abused daughter that she is still a virgin?....................173
100. How long does the healing process take?....................174
APPENDIX: WHERE CAN I GO FOR MORE INFORMATION?....................175
Predators and Child Molesters
