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Acknowledgments ix
Introduction: Is This Me? xi
Part 1 The Unhappy Marriage
Chapter 1 Defining the Unhappy Marriage 3
Step 1 Determine-Is my marriage unhappy? How unhappy am I?
Chapter 2 The Marriage Bill of Rights 17
Chapter 3 How Parenting Falters 21
Step 2 Ask yourself-Is our parenting faltering?
Chapter 4 How Children Falter 34
Step 3 Look at your children right now-Is your unhappy family affecting their school performance, behavior, and self-esteem?
Chapter 5 How Sex and Intimacy Falter 43
Step 4 Face the truth-What is the quality of our sexual and intimate life?
Chapter 6 How Physical and Mental Health Falter 55
Step 5 Assess-Is marital stress affecting my physical and mental health? My children's? My spouse's?
Part 2 Myths about Divorce
Chapter 7 How Bias Shapes Your Thinking 66
Step 6 Take an inventory-What are my fears about separating and divorcing? What stigma and shame do I fear from my family, friends, religion, and community?
Chapter 8 Divorce Versus the Unhappy Marriage 87
Chapter 9 The Transition Period 91
Part 3 Truths about-Divorce
Chapter 10 Divorce for the Sake of the Children 96
Step 7 Evaluate realistically-If I divorce, what do I fear will happen to my children? Will I lose them? Can I accept not seeing them every day?
Chapter 11 Children's Self-Esteem 102
Chapter 12 Impact on Adolescents and Young Adults 110
Chapter 13 Growth of Empathy in Adolescents and Young Adults 116
Chapter 14 How Men and Women Grow 120
Chapter 15 Divorce and Finances 133
Step 8 Face your fears-What financial repercussions of separation and divorce frighten me?
Chapter 16 The Real Damage 146
Part 4 Knowing When It's Time to Go
Chapter 17 Rescued Marriages: Exhausting Every Remedy 158
Step 9 Take another inventory-Have I exhausted every remedy to heal my marriage? Do I have any realistic hope? What am I waiting for?
Chapter 18 The Tipping Point 171
Chapter 19 Making Your Plan 182
Step 10 Decide-What's my plan?
Appendices 187
The Marriage Test 187
Selected Annotated Bibliography 195
Index 205
About the Authors 210
| Price | Condition | Delivery | Seller | Action |
| $99.99 | Digital |
| WonderClub |
Mark Sellan
reviewed How to Know If It's Time to Go: A 10-Step Reality Test for Your Marriage on December 15, 2009
How to Know If It's Time to Go
If your not aware I am like so many others. I have been married and divorced and married..........and now I have a mixed family. With that is always new lessons to learn on how to exist in these families with harmony. I feel quite lucky that my ex and I sat down and talked on how to have a friendly divorce. We knew we would always be our daughter's parents and would have to be part of each others lives after our divorce. And we have made it work out with little fuss.
So how did we get there? Well, first we wasted a long time. Staying married 15 years when our marriage was over in the first 5 years. I would have liked to have read "How to Know if it's Time to Go-A 10-Step Reality Test for Your Marriage". Now I know that we all wish to keep our marriage healthy. I wanted to do the very same thing. But instead wasted 10 years of mine and my ex's life. And drug our sweet daughter through those trying times. Sometimes we just have to face reality.
What I do like about this book is that it addresses your children's issues. Making it a fact that there needs to be healthy relationships between the separated parents and future families. So you need to deal with how a healthy divorce works compared to an unhealthy marriage. (I know having been there.) And helping your child or children with school, family, friends, self esteem and all the issues that come up. I feel quiet lucky that we took a logical look at our future. Now having been divorced over 7 years we can still visit each other with our College Girl. And even better yet, College Girl now has her (half) lil sister to share her life with. The two families often share meals, holidays and even for a short while a home together.
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