I Am an Emotional Creature: The Secret Life of Girls Around the World Book

Wow! A powerful, thought-provoking book all about girls. This small collection has a big impact. As other reviewers say, this book should be required reading for high school girls. It will get girls thinking about the way they act and the way they are treated; about what society allows, expects, and forbids. Reading these stories might help girls gain confidence and independence. The book will no doubt offer solace and insight for those who are right in the middle of the fucked-up girl and boy and parent stuff that freaks out teenage girls.

I did have a few problems with the book, which I'll talk about later. For now, I'll talk about all the good stuff.

Each story is fictional and is told by a girl, and the first-person voice makes each of the girls sound authentic and plaintive, innocent yet wise. The voices are so real, it's hard to remember that these stories are made up by the author. If I had to choose one adjective to describe these stories, it would be "haunting." The stories of girls in the third-world countries are the most disturbing. Girls deal with genital mutilation, the sex trade, slave labor, and war. Their voices are strong, their stories heart-breaking.

The book contains both poems and stories. Each chapter starts with a "girl fact" that tells you some disturbing truth about what happens to girls because of society's mores. One horrifying girl fact: "When a group of children who were interviewed on 20/20 were asked if they'd rather be fat or lose an arm, they unanimously answered that they'd rather lose an arm." Beyond frightening.
The poems and stories are short and easy to read. Poetry is often like jazz to me'I sometimes like listening to it but I don't understand a thing about it. Often when I read a poem, I'm thinking WTF? I must not have enough brain cells, or the right ones, because I just don't get it. In this book, the poems are accessible. I get them, and what I'm getting is smart and insightful, sometimes sad or scary. They all pack a wallop. The language is beautiful, the rhythm and cadence wonderful, the sentences profound.

Four stories stand out in my mind: a girl creating Barbie heads in a Chinese factory, a diary of an anorexic, a girl who has to get a nose job, and a girl whose father plans to give her to a one-eyed old man in exchange for a couple of cows. I will re-read these stories many times, even though they are all unforgettable from the first read.

Okay, now for the bad stuff. Even though these stories are smart and haunting, the book seemed lightweight in some way. I can't quite put my finger on it. Even as I say it, I want to take it back. I think my objection is not that it's shallow, but it's sophomoric. It's Feminism 101, and I was in that class ages ago. And the book sort of seems anti-male (there's not one man who is okay; they are all dogs).

I guess part of it is I'm not a politico, and to steal Roxane Gay's words, I'm probably a bad feminist. I belong to the girl club, but I'm first and foremost a human being, struggling as all humans, females and males, to get by in this world. Of course I hate and ache over violence against women. And of course I think women should get equal pay and equal everything. But I also don't think women should wear their feminism. The strong women I know and read about were all born strong. They don't let people label them. They don't need a group of women routing for them. They don't feel like the victim. They know they are equal to men. I don't think weaker women (or weaker people, for that matter) are capable of having an epiphany one day and becoming super strong people. I can see the trouble I'm getting myself into. It's just my opinion. However, I will for sure admit that education does equal knowledge equal growth, and if the book changes the way girls think, even if it's in small doses, this is good. This is great, in fact.


There were several things that bothered me about the poem "I Am an Emotional Creature."
I hate these lines:

"I am an emotional creature
Things do not come to me
As intellectual theories or hard-shaped ideas.
They pulse through my organs and legs
And burn up my ears."

The author sounds like she is dissing those damn women intellectuals! Be emotional, don't be a smarty-pants! What??? Yes, it's great to be emotional. I am super emotional and hate being put down because of it, but I am also intellectual. It sounds like the author is forsaking thinking for feeling.

And I don't like these lines either:

"I know when a storm is coming.
I can feel the invisible stirrings in the air."

And:

"I know when the coconut's about to fall."

Let's not get all woo-woo and new age-y, folks. Girls know when a storm is coming? Come on! We women are super intuitive (and I'm proud of it), but we are not psychic! No matter how much we feel "at one" with nature, we are not hippy earth mommas who just know when a coconut's about to fall from the tree and clobber you. We do not have superpowers, really we don't.

Then there's the issue of girl safety. The book promotes, in the name of independence, three things that I think are dangerous.

Alone in the dark. The manifesta at the end of the book tells girls to go places alone. I disagree, no doubt partly because I'm a mother of girls. Girls have to be careful. Yes, it's nice not to let yourself be scared, but it's also smart to be safe. The crazy rapists out there ready to inflict torture and death don't give a shit about you standing up for your rights and independence. They are there to harm you. Of course I don't think girls should be holed up at home out of fear, but what about using the good old buddy system?

Wearing short skirts. There's a powerful poem called "My Short Skirt." Here are a couple of lines: "My short skirt is my defiance. I will not let you make me afraid." I have trouble with this. Yes, it's your right to wear a short skirt and express your individuality, but most men think about sex a lot, and according to men, I do mean A LOT. The more skin they see, the more turned on they get (or so a man has told me). Why give men this chance to get turned on? The sexually violent ones might not be able to or want to control their urges, and then we have ugly and devastating rape. Again, there isn't a good solution. But what's wrong with wearing unisex clothes that cover up your body so that men are less likely to leer? In Vietnam, for example, women working on the docks can be seen wearing t-shirts and jeans; maybe it's easier for men to work beside them without thinking nonstop about sex. Why not express your individuality by dying your hair green, doing funky nails, wearing far-out jewelry, or for the more adventurous, getting body piercings or tattoos?

Fighting back. Another line in the manifesta says to always fight back. Of course I think girls should fight back against unjust and ignorant ideas about females. But trying to physically fight off a crazy person? Seriously, is it really a good idea to piss off a murderer, just to assert yourself? Do you want to get dead?

Okay, I'm done complaining. I know I bitched a lot, but it's just one of those books that gets you thinking. Besides, I don't think a girl reading this book is going to say, "Oh goodie, now I can put on my shortest skirt, stroll through the ghetto alone tonight, and fight back if a guy grabs me." The truth is, there is way more good than bad in this book. The author has brilliantly created unique girl voices, and the stories are so well drawn, I feel like the girls are real and that I know and understand them. And the book feels surprisingly uplifting'because even though the stories show despair, they also show strength and hope. It's great to discover a book that applauds women for being emotional, especially since we usually get in such deep shit for it. I will keep this book lying around so I can pick it up and take little sips whenever I want.