Dancing at the River's Edge: A Patient and Her Doctor Negotiate Life with Chronic Illness Book

Patient Alida Brill and her physician Michael Lockshin, MD collaborated on the creation of this book. It's divided into sections written by each of them, with more from Alida than Dr. Lockshin.

Alida Brill has lived with chronic illness since her teens. And in her career she's fought for women's rights and for women's issues. She has lived a full and rewarding life, despite the incredible daily challenge of her illness. I highlighted countless passages from Alida as I read. She is eloquent and tremendously insightful about the world of chronic illness.

Her connection of the desire for love and support with feminism and the male ego is nothing short of brilliant. She writes, "Chronic illness in a female partner gnaws at a man's sense of control, his sense of power, his sense of being victorious against danger. Call it what you will, and if you wish, go ahead and accuse me of being politically incorrect. Whatever you want to label my remarks, it remains the case that a chronically ill woman threatens a man's sense of himself, and calls into question his feelings of success as a man, a lover, a "white knight.""

I also appreciated Alida's section on the tendency of patients with chronic illnesses to blame themselves for their illness. And why we shouldn't!

The sections from Dr. Lockshin didn't connect as strongly for me, perhaps because I'm a patient rather than physician. I found him to be caring and knowledgeable, but certainly not transcendent like Alida. Essentially, he's cultured and curmudgeonly older man with genuinely sincere intentions.

Here's an example: "Powerful thing this, the training and license that grant me the ability to destroy or sustain another's dream. Sobering and frightening and nauseating thing this, the knowledge that I sometimes actually do exercise this power. Humbling thing this, to be able to use this power, once in a while, to salvage lethal mistakes, made seriatim, on a cheeky Puerto Rican kid with a tattoo."

I've read many books about living with chronic illness. I'm sure this will remain one of my favorites for a long time!

Thanks to NetGalley, Schaffner Press, and the authors for the opportunity to read a free digital copy in exchange for an honest review.