Consumer Advisor Book

JOHN PROCTOR: What... what are we doing here? Where are we?

ELIZABETH PROCTOR: We're in a review, John.

JOHN PROCTOR: A review?

JOHN HALE: Yes, a review. Newt Gingrich has been encouraging people to read The Crucible. We've agreed to help him.

SAMUEL PARRIS: It's our duty, John. We're in the middle of the second worst witch hunt in American history.

JOHN PROCTOR: The second worst?

SAMUEL PARRIS: Yes, the second worst. After what's going to happen to Donald Trump in 2017. But at least our case is remotely comparable, so it offers people a point of reference.

JOHN PROCTOR: What's going to happen to him? Is he going to be pressed under huge stones like my friend Giles Corey?

SAMUEL PARRIS: I don't think so.

JOHN PROCTOR: Hanged on the basis of false accusations like Rebecca Nurse?

SAMUEL PARRIS: I believe not.

JOHN PROCTOR: Entrapped and then imprisoned like my poor, wronged wife?

SAMUEL PARRIS: I have different information.

JOHN PROCTOR: Well, what then?

SAMUEL PARRIS: People on late night talk shows are going to make a great many sarcastic comments about his tweeting habit. And after a while, he'll have said so many insane and self-incriminating things that a special counsel will be appointed to find out just what the hell is going on.

THE WHOLE COURT: Oh, how dreadful!

[Pause]

JOHN PROCTOR: You're right. We have to do something.

CURTAIN