Walking on Eggshells: Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents Book

This was my first book about relationships with adult children - even though I'm a newbie at it, I got so much out of it. She addressed so many elephants in the room. Things nobody ever talks about and so you assume everything is fine and easy once your children leave home.

Notes:

*"When children become adults, many parents encounter a whole new world of anxiety, miscommunication, disappointment, and distance."

*She reassures us that we aren't fools to wake up in the middle of the night worrying about our adult children. Many do.

*Kids don't want your advice. Rats. That's the only thing I'm good at giving - lots of it, poured on thick and heavy. "Don't give it, they don't want it, they don't like it, they resent it". Is that really true? I bet no every kid feels this way. I asked Talia and she said, only when she's in a bad mood does she feel this way.

*Watch, here's me in the future = "Norma, at 75, knows that she is not in charge of her kids, but she had trouble holding her tongue, and it has created havoc with her firstborn son. Her excellent advice has nearly destroyed their relationship."

*Also about advice, "the more correct it is and the closer to home it cuts, the more you are resented for giving it." When you deliver a difficult truth, you, as the messenger, are blamed.

*One wise mother's advice: Keep your mouth shut and your door open. Plus you can always spill to your spouse, best friends or relatives of your generation all your frustrations. That's exactly what I do.

*LOVED the paragraph about in-law and what makes the difference in getting along. Chemistry (you hit it off) or character (you act mature by putting feelings on the back burner and make an effort to forge a good relationship anyway). Ideal if you have both of course.

*so many helpful stories about people she interviewed for the book.

*The chapter on money was great. All the stories about how money tore families apart - inherited money - Do you leave everyone an equal amount? Each according to need? What if you paid for this kid's college but that kid got a scholarship, are they entitled a bit more money at the end? Apparently kids keep score all their lives and bring out the claws when you die.

But also success stories for you to model. Something for everyone.