Astride the Pineapple Couch Book

Why on earth I'm reading this is beyond me. I hate Danielle Steel. I read my first DS ("The Accident") in sixth grade. And at that point, it was probably appropriate, reading-level -wise (though perhaps not in terms of subject matter). I think I read one more after that before I caught on to the formula and abandoned her in disgust.

At any rate, I found this at a rummage sale for a quarter. I'm half done with the book and feel I over-paid. The writing is crap. The characters are one dimensional. Her mother is a Stepford wife. Her dad is cruel. Her sister is beautiful. But fear not! In spite of being "fat" (more on this in a sec!), Victoria, our protagonist, is perfect in every way. She loves her sister. She has a fabulous job, a fabulous apartment, and fabulous friends. She is without fault.

You know, except for the fact that she is FAT. And DS won't let you forget it, either. Literally every page, there is some reference to how skinny and perfect her family is and how hideously fat Victoria is. Her parents mock her at every gathering. Her students speak of her weight behind her back. People look and point.

So how large is this behemouth? Brace yourself!

A 14. (A 12 when she loses 10 lbs.)

Now, as a size 14 myself, perhaps I'm biased. I'm under no illusions that I'm thin, and I am well aware that I could stand to lose 25+ pounds. Few people have self-esteem as shitty as mine. Few are as insecure about the size of their ass. And yet I really don't think that I'm SOOO large that people whisper about my size behind my back. Perhaps I am in denial, perhaps I just live in a more generous part of the country (South Dakota), but I still find this incredibly far-fetched.

And yet....I continue to read. It's like a horrible, horrible train wreck. I just can't look away.

EDIT: I've finished this. It did not get better. If anything, it got worse. After two nights of reading about how fat even a size 10 is, I was left wanting to slit my wrists. I don't think I've ever felt so fat as a result of reading a book.

The ending itself was truly awful. There's a "crisis/betrayal" that she devotes about 4 pages to before she entirely glosses over it. Why she bothered with this "plot twist" at all is beyond me.

Please, please save yourself a day or two of your life. Even for DS, this is a truly awful book. I didn't even donate it to GoodWill; it went straight to the trash. I don't want to take the chance of passing it on to another unsuspecting reader. If I could give it less than 1 star, I would.