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Foreword by The Stork ix
From the Author xv
Chapter 1 Conception: When Wanted Life Begins 3
It, and the Doing Thereof
Tinkering with the Essence of Life in a Lab: A Recipe for Success!
They're Called "Love Children" Because You Have to "Love Children" to Have Them
DNA: The Body's Snitch
Your Parents, Total Incompetence, and You
Chapter 2 Throughout Your Fetalcy 17
Choosing a Doctor That's Right for Your Doctor
Booze, Cigs, Drugs, and the Death of Fun
Coffee Yes, Cat Shit No: Surprising Health Tips
Everything in Your House Is Out to Get You
The Pregnancy Diet: You'll Have the Soup
Chapter 3 Month 1: An Introduction to Existentialism 35
Best Weeks Ever! 1-4
Acing Your Home Pregnancy Test
From G-spot to Anus: Meet the Neighbors!
Only an Embryo, and Already Lying About Your Age
Twins: Separating the Schwarzeneggers from the DeVitos
When the F in MILF Stands for "Feel More Confident About Her Physical Appearance"
Chapter 4 Month 2: Making Mitosis Fowrtosis 51
Best Weeks Ever! 5-8
Jaws II: The Return of All of Mommy's Food
Daddy's (Sym)Pathetic Pregnancy
Noon: The New 7 a.m.
A Bountiful Harvest of Urine
Pregnancy at the Workplace: When the Watercolor Conversation Becomes "Wow, She Looks Like a Watercooler"
Chapter 5 Month 3: Vaguely Human! 69
Best Weeks Ever! 9-13
The Other Bloating Sensation in Her Abdomen
Sadness, Anxiety, Happiness, and Depression: Overcoming Happiness
Who Should Gain More Weight, You or Mom?
Celebrity Babies: When B-listers Get C-sections
Chapter 6 Month 4: Pardon the Protrusion 85
Best Weeks Ever! 14-17
It Looks Like Breast Milk, but It'sToo Early and It's Coming from Her Vagina
Maternity Fashion: Today's Hottest Muumuus!
Don't Like My Pregnancy? Dial 1-800-FUCK-UTE
You're All Going to Paris, but Only Two of You Will Actually See the Eiffel Tower
Getting in Shape When You Don't Yet Have One
Chapter 7 Month 5 Acknowledging Your Flailings 101
Best Weeks Ever! 18-22
Paging Ralph Macchio
By the Way, Haydn Wrote 104 Symphonies, but Nobody Blasts Him into Mom's Abdomen
The Technicolor Dreamscape of Pregnancy Skin
Sonograms and Daughterograms
When Daddy Penetrates Mommy: Your Insider's Guide
Chapter 8 Month 6: Threshold of Unabortability 117
Best Weeks Ever! 23-27
Why the Entire Bus Is Allowed to Rub Mom's Belly
Camel: Humps Pregnant Woman: Feet
Tusks
A Topic Too Disturbing Not to Deliberately Mishear
Childbirth Classes: It's Never Too Early for Parents to Get Ripped Off Paying for School
Chaster 9 Month 7: Third Trime's the Charm 131
Best Weeks Ever! 28-31
Whew! It Was All a Dream ...or Was It? [Dramatic Sting, Tight Shot of Umbilical Cord]
Prepartum Stress About Postpartum Life: Let's Just Focus on the Partum, Shall We?
Birth Plans: Beyond "Step 1: Fuck"
Doulas and Don'tlas
Can't the Internet Make Our Babies for Us Already?
Chapter 10 Month 8: Allow Six to Eight Weeks for Delivery 149
Best Weeks Ever! 32-35
Urine: This Time, It's Personal
B-section Too Pricey? D-section Too Tacky? Consider This Compromise
Baby Showers, Followed by 50 Percent Chance of Baby Freezing Rain
It Was "MomDad"; Now It's "MomYouDad": Guess Who Got Between Them?
Tits Tits Tits Tits Tits!
Chapter 11 Month 9: Paradise Almost Lost 165
Best Weeks Ever! 36-40
The Nesting Instinct: Twigger, Please!
Round, Firm, and Fully Packed
A Live Band in the Delivery Room, or Just a DJ?
Water Breaking? We'll Show You How to Fix It
False Labor: Making the Maternity Ward Become the "Psych!" Ward
It's the Second Monday in September, and Still No Labor Day
Call You Ishmael, or Possibly Jayden
Chapter 12 Labor and Delivery: Mom at Her Pushiest 181
Live with Regis and Four Newborns!
Chapter 13 Months 10-1, 000: A Time of Transition 195
Childhood, Adulthood, Old Age, and Other Miscellany
Acknowledgments 199
| Price | Condition | Delivery | Seller | Action |
| $99.99 | Digital |
| WonderClub |
Andrew Dietenberger
reviewed What to Expect When You're Expected: A Fetus's Guide to the First Three Trimesters on October 19, 2009
What to Expect When You're Expected
I selected "read" because I've read all I plan to read. The idea was somewhat clever -- pregnancy and birth from the perspective of the fetus. The problem was that the idea got old by the second section of the book (not the second chapter, the second section within the first chapter).
Damon bought it at the airport. He thinks the book is hilarious.
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Add What to Expect When You're Expected: A Fetus's Guide to the First Three Trimesters, This new second edition is filled with the latest, most accurate wombhood information, including comforting answers to hundreds of questions, such as • My mother just took a sip of white wine. Am I going to end up looking like some Chernobyl baby now?, What to Expect When You're Expected: A Fetus's Guide to the First Three Trimesters to the inventory that you are selling on WonderClubX
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Add What to Expect When You're Expected: A Fetus's Guide to the First Three Trimesters, This new second edition is filled with the latest, most accurate wombhood information, including comforting answers to hundreds of questions, such as • My mother just took a sip of white wine. Am I going to end up looking like some Chernobyl baby now?, What to Expect When You're Expected: A Fetus's Guide to the First Three Trimesters to your collection on WonderClub |
