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Attention, all you clumsy pandas, lovable puffins, huggable bunnies, and penguins that elicit ooohs and aaahs: The jig is up! We have lived under your furry fists for too long.
There is a cute and present danger lurking out there–in the wild, in the zoos, and sometimes even in our very own homes. Spurred on by the Cute Industrial Complex, these cuddly animals have taken over blockbuster films, inspirational posters, and computer desktops everywhere, further weakening the innocent civilians who are beguiled by these fuzzy frauds.
But you are stronger than them, aren't you? Those soft bellies and wet noses are no match for you–and their free ride has just come to an end.
F U, Penguin is the rallying cry for those who choose to fight these power-hungry cute-mongers. Loaded with color photographs and hilarious commentary, this book will have you laughing out loud while it simultaneously saves you from the tragic fate of tossing yarn with big-eyed kittens and bottle-nursing baby pandas forever.
___________________________
"Finally, a book for the rest of us! Most animals go about our business without playing to the audience like the elitists exposed in these chapters.I wasn't sure how many more times I could hear about those great penguins and pandas and kittens before I started eating people... well, more people, anyway."—Jerry the Shark
"Penguins killed my parents, and they would not hesitate to kill me. I thank the Crustacean God for Matthew Gasteier, a true saint and a decent human being in a world filled with heartless penguin accomplices."—Dennis the Krill
"It's all true. We're the worst."—Anonymous Penguin
"The average dolphin is far beyond this level of vulgarity, but I could see how this would be a very enjoyable book for humans. I should remember to hand these out to some of my slower relatives at the common ancestor reunion."—Edward the Dolphin
"Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this style of book is not something we are currently looking for. However, we wish you the best of luck with your human publishers!"—Danielle the Bear, Editor-in-Chief, Random Cave Publishing
| Price | Condition | Delivery | Seller | Action |
| $99.99 | Digital |
| WonderClub |
Elizabeth Munoz
reviewed F. U., Penguin: Telling Cute Animals What's What on September 18, 2015 F. U., Penguin
I'm so glad I came across and picked up this book at Goodwill. Penguins are my favorite animals, so I just had to get this one. I figured even if it wasn't that good, I wouldn't be losing anything more than $1.00 and a bit of time. But, this book was way more than I expected it to be in such a phenomenal way.
This is a book that was compiled back in 2009 (a little dated, I know, but still hilarious) by Matthew Gasteier and a small team to convert his blog into a book. It's a compiling of blog-post style pages along with funny internet animal pictures/memes. The picture is on the right page and then a description explaining why these animals are wrong for being so cute is on the left side. Matthew writes with a sarcastic sense of humor that is sure to have you laughing out loud and, along with him, cursing these animals for being so darn cute and ruining our lives.
It was kind of hard to coherently explain this book, but I hope my synopsis was compelling and got you interested because you should be. This book was utterly hilarious. I found myself laughing out loud on more than one occasion. (Every couple pages actually.) Gasteier's humor is spot on and fantastic. I never knew I needed a book like this in my life until it was in my life and open in my hands.
It's a super fun, fast read. The font is large and since every other page is a photo, it's easy to fly through this one. Honestly, the whole thing is probably readable in a few hours, if that. So, you have no excuse (except maybe a lack of money) to not go out and get your hands on this book to bring some much needed laughter into your life.
I am going to put a small warning here. This book is filled with explicit language and, if that's not your thing, you might want to pass on this book (even though I just told everyone to go out and buy it). If this is not something that bothers you, then, my friend, get this book.
This is seriously one of the best thrift store finds I've found in awhile (other than 101 Reasons Why a Cat is Better than a Man, which was also a pretty funny read). I'm so glad I picked this book up and especially glad that there was a penguin on the cover to force me to buy it.
So, my friends, pick up a copy of this book today and find out how we can take this world back from the penguins (and other cute animals) that are taking it over. Seriously, I recommend this book to anyone and everyone looking for a good laugh. It's a quick, easy read, and it will definitely put a smile on your face.
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Add F. U., Penguin: Telling Cute Animals What's What, Attention, all you clumsy pandas, lovable puffins, huggable bunnies, and penguins that elicit ooohs and aaahs: The jig is up! We have lived under your furry fists for too long. There is a cute and present danger lurking out there–in the wild, in the zo, F. U., Penguin: Telling Cute Animals What's What to the inventory that you are selling on WonderClubX
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Add F. U., Penguin: Telling Cute Animals What's What, Attention, all you clumsy pandas, lovable puffins, huggable bunnies, and penguins that elicit ooohs and aaahs: The jig is up! We have lived under your furry fists for too long. There is a cute and present danger lurking out there–in the wild, in the zo, F. U., Penguin: Telling Cute Animals What's What to your collection on WonderClub |