The Civility Solution: What to Do When People Are Rude Book

The beginning was insightful, causing self-reflection ("Am I the rude one? What is rudeness? Why are we rude?". The second half, where this old-world gentleman of civility gives real-world advice, is just awful.

He councils responses to rudeness that, while technically not being rude themselves, are unrealistic, haughty and officious.

To paraphrase:

To the person who parks in the handicapped space without a placard, "You need to look at your conscious, and maybe next time, you'll choose right."

To the person ahead of you at the grocery who has too many items in the speed checkout, "You'll notice this lane's limit is 15. Please find another lane." ("If they will not, ask the cashier to alert the manager.")

Tasteless jokes at the office, "This sort of humor offends me. Please refrain from saying these things in my presence in future."

What is that? This advice, I promise you, will not work in real life. It's stilted, unfriendly and unnatural. It would embarrass, alienate, and cause people to become defensive, not friendly or accomadating. A book about countering rudeness should be about disarming situations, about being empathetic and confident, and finding ways to ethically get what you need no matter how the people around you are behaving.