The Rules of Love: A Personal Code for Happier, More Fulfilling Relationships (The Rules Series) Book

Introduction xii

Part I Rules for Finding Love 1

Rule 1 Be Yourself 4

Rule 2 Get Over It Before You Get on with It 5

Rule 3 You Won’t Be Happy with a Partner Until You Can Be Happy on Your Own 8

Rule 4 You’ll Know Them When You Meet Them 10

Rule 5 Choose Someone Who Makes You Laugh 12

Rule 6 Being Less than a Hundred Percent Attractive Is a Great Filter 14

Rule 7 Don’t Keep Making the Same Mistakes 16

Rule 8 Certain People Are Off Limits (You Know Who They Are) 18

Rule 9 You Can’t Change People 20

Rule 10 Relationships Aren’t About Sex 22

Rule 11 You Should Know Someone Through All the Seasons Before You Make Any Major Decisions 24

Rule 12 Don’t Stay with Someone Who Doesn’t Care 26

Rule 13 If You Can’t Trust Them, You Haven’t Got a Relationship 28

Rule 14 Be Honest (While You Still Have the Chance) 30

Rule 15 Don’t Play Games 32

Rule 16 Don’t Paint New Partners with Old Brushes 34

Rule 17 Make Sure You Both Have the Same Shared Goals 36

Rule 18 You Can’t Make Someone Love You 38

Rule 19 Be Cruel to Be Kind 40

Part II Rules of Relationships 43

Rule 20 Be Nice 46

Rule 21 Be Together Because You Want to, Not Because You Need To 48

Rule 22 Allow Your Partner the Space to Be Themselves 50

Rule 23 Look to Your Own Faults 52

Rule 24 Be Honorable 54

Rule 25 Put Each Other First 56

Rule 26 Recognize the Signs 58

Rule 27 Be a Hero—or a Heroine 60

Rule 28 Accept the Differences, Embrace What You Have in Common 62

Rule 29 Houston, We Have a Problem 64

Rule 30 You Want to Do What? 66

Rule 31 Let Not the Sun Go Down Upon Your Wrath 68

Rule 32 Be the First to Say Sorry 70

Rule 33 Don’t Belittle Your Partner 72

Rule 34 Don’t Put Them on a Pedestal and Expect Them to Stay There 74

Rule 35 Don’t Dump Responsibility on Your Partner 76

Rule 36 Never Stop Trying to Be Attractive 78

Rule 37 If You Can Say Anything Nice, Do 80

Rule 38 Don’t Try to Be Their Parent 82

Rule 39 Don’t Be a Nag 84

Rule 40 If Little Things Annoy You, Say So—with Humor 86

Rule 41 Go that Extra Step in Trying to Please Them 88

Rule 42 Make Sure Your Partner Is Always Pleased to See You 90

Rule 43 Know When to Listen and When to Act 92

Rule 44 Let Them Know If You Don’t Like Their Friends 94

Rule 45 Jealousy Is Your Stuff, Not Theirs 96

Rule 46 Your Partner Is More Important than Your Kids 98

Rule 47 Make Time for Romance 100

Rule 48 Have a Passion for Your Life Together 102

Rule 49 Share the Workload 104

Rule 50 Trust the Other One to Do the Job 106

Rule 51 Be Part of Their Life 108

Rule 52 Make Sure Your Love Making Is Making Love 110

Rule 53 Don’t Control Them 112

Rule 54 Listen to What They’re Not Saying 114

Rule 55 Most Everyday Arguments Are About Something Else 116

Rule 56 Respect Privacy 118

Rule 57 Treat Your Partner Better than Your Best Friend 120

Rule 58 Don’t Be Offended If They Want Some Space 122

Rule 59 Men Like Flowers, Too 124

Rule 60 Keep Your Finances Separate 126

Rule 61 Contentment Is a High Aim 128

Rule 62 Be Generous to Each Other Financially 130

Rule 63 You Make a Choice Every Day 132

Rule 64 Don’t’ Be a Martyr 134

Rule 65 You Don’t Both Have to Have the Same Rules 136

Rule 66 Put Yourself in Their Shoes 138

Rule 67 In-Laws Are Part of the Package 140

Rule 68 Keep Talking 142

Part III Rules of Parting 145

Rule 69 Listen to Your Own Internal Voice 148

Rule 70 Recognize That It Takes Two 150

Rule 71 Keep the Moral High Ground 152

Rule 72 Don’t Keep Reliving It Over and Over 154

Rule 73 Leave the Kids Out of It 156

Part IV Rules for Family 159

Rule 74 Don’t Blame Your Parents 162

Rule 75 Don’t Let Your Parents Control Your Feelings 164

Rule 76 Your Children Come Before You 166

Rule 77 Nothing Is Worth Falling Out Over 168

Rule 78 Treat Them the Way You Believe Is Right, No Matter How They Treat You 170

Rule 79 Don’t Pressure Your Family Just Because You Can 172

Rule 80 Never Be Too Busy for Loved Ones 174

Rule 81 Your Children Need to Fall Out with You to Leave Home 176

Rule 82 They Don’t Have to Be the Same as You 178

Rule 83 There’s Always Stuff with Siblings 180

Rule 84 Let Go of Your Role 182

Part V Rules of Friendship 185

Rule 85 There Are No Rules 188

Rule 86 Your Best Friend Was Once a Stranger 190

Rule 87 Only Have People in Your Life Who Make It Better, Not Worse 192

Rule 88 If You’re Going to Be a Friend, Be a Good Friend 194

Rule 89 Never Give Advice 196

Rule 90 Find Friends Who Love the Truth 198

Rule 91 Never Lend Money Unless You’re Prepared to Write It Off 200

Rule 92 If You Don’t Like Their Partner, Tough 202

Rule 93 When One Finger Points Forward, Three Point Back 204

Rule 94 Friendships Change 206

Rule 95 Know When to Let Go 208

Rule 96 Bitterness Helps No One 210

Part VI Rules for Everyone 213

Rule 97 Guilt Is a Selfish Emotion 216

Rule 98 Love Equals Time 218

Rule 99 The More You Give, the More You Get Back 220

Rule 100 Other People Are Where It’s At 222