PART l. THE CONTEXT OF INTIMACY
l. AMERICAN MYTHS AND DREAMS
Learning Objectives
Myths About Family Life
We've Lost the Extended Family
Opposites Attract
People Marry Because They Love Each Other
Having Children Increases Marital Satisfaction
A Good Sex Life Is the Best Predictor of Marital
Satisfaction
Happily Married People Don’t Have Conflict
Half of All Marriages End In Divorce
The Dangers of Myths
Changing Patterns of Intimate Relationships
Premarital Sex
Births to Unmarried Women
Living Alone
COMPARISON
Asian Women Are Marrying at a Later Age
Cohabitation
Delayed Marriage
Birth Rates
Household Size
Employed Mothers
PERSONAL
“I Had to Go to Work”
Divorce
A Concluding Note On Changing Patterns
The Family in Utopia
The Family in Utopian Writings
The Family in Utopian Communities
What Works Best?
What Do We Want? What Do We Need?
The Great Debate
Changes in Traditional Arrangements
What Do You Think?
Me or We?
Strengths and Benefits of Marriage and Family
'Til Death?
A Note On Theory
Systems Theory
Exchange Theory
Symbolic Interaction Theory
Conflict Theory
Theory and Intimacy
Summary
Key Terms
INTERNET CONNECTION
American Myths and Dreams
2. DIVERSITY IN FAMILIES
Learning Objectives
The Variability of Family Life
Variations Between Societies
Variations Within Societies
TheSingle-Parent Family
Extent of Single-Parent Families
Challenges of the Single-Parent Family
COMPARISON
Single Parents In Iceland
The Successful Single-Parent Family
PERSONAL
“I Chose To Do It Alone”
Racial and Ethnic Minority Families
The African-American Family
The Hispanic Family
The Asian-American Family
The Interracial Family
Families With Same-Sex Parents
What Do You Think?
Problems In Gay and Lesbian Families
Intimacy In the Gay and Lesbian Family
Long-Term Gay and Lesbian Relationships
Summary
Principles for Enhancing Intimacy
Key Terms
INTERNET CONNECTION
Diversity in Families
3. GENDER ROLES: FOUNDATION FOR INTIMACY
Learning Objectives
Men and Women: How Do They Differ?
Men and Women: Some Commonalities
Gender Differences
Sex, Gender, Gender Role, and Gender-Role Orientation
Gender Roles
Gender-Role Orientation
What Do You Think?
Gender Roles: Nature Or Nurture?
How Much Is Biological?
The Importance Of Nurture
Socialization and Gender-Role Orientation
COMPARISON
Inuit Youth Learn To Be Males and Females
Changing Gender Roles and Orientations
Changing Patterns
Lingering Traditionalism
Gender-Role Orientation: What Difference Does It Make?
Communication
Self-Concept
Mental Health
Gender-Role Orientation and Intimacy
PERSONAL
“We Worked It Out”
Summary
Principles for Enhancing Intimacy
Key Terms
INTERNET CONNECTION
Gender Roles: Foundation for Intimacy
4. SEXUALITY
Learning Objectives
The Meaning of Sex
Heterosexuality and Homosexuality
Sex As Physical: The Response Cycle
Sex As Social Behavior
Unwanted and Coerced Sex
Sex and Intimate Relationships
PERSONAL
Sex and the Search for Intimacy
Teenage Sex
Extent of Sex Among Teenagers
Unwanted Pregnancy and Early Childbearing
Contraception
Amount and Kinds of Contraceptive Use
Who Uses Contraceptives
Abortion
What Do You Think?
Premarital Sex
The Double Standard
Changing Attitudes
Changing Behavior
Sex In Marriage
Sexual Practices in Marriage
Sexual Satisfaction and Marital Satisfaction
Changes in Marital Sex Over the Lifespan
Extramarital Sex
Why Extramarital Sex?
Some Consequences of Extramarital Sex
Sexual Diseases and Dysfunctions
Sexual Diseases
Sexual Dysfunctions
Inhibited Sexual Desire
Safe Sex
COMPARISON
Unsafe Sex In Lesotho
Summary
Principles for Enhancing Intimacy
Key Terms
INTERNET CONNECTION
Sexuality
PART 2. SEEKING INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS
5. GETTING TO KNOW SOMEONE ELSE
Learning Objectives
We Are Social Creatures
Loneliness
Fulfillment Through Intimacy
PERSONAL
Searching for Intimacy
The Nature of Intimacy
The Meaning of Intimacy
Intimacy as an Exchange Relationship
Intimacy as Self-Sustaining
Meeting and Getting to Know Others
First Impressions
What Do You Think?
What Attracts?
COMPARISON
Mexican and United States Teens Portray Their Ideals
About the Opposite Sex
Developing a Relationship
First Stage: Initial Meeting and Awareness
Second Stage: The Selection Process
Third Stage: Developing Intimacy
Fourth Stage: Maintaining or Dissolving the Relationship
Summary
Principles for Enhancing Intimacy
Key Terms
INTERNET CONNECTION
Getting to Know Someone Else
6. GETTING INVOLVED
Learning Objectives
Hanging Out and Hooking Up
Dating
Finding People To Date
Selecting a Dating Partner
Functions of Dating
Patterns of Dating
COMPARISON
Commitment to Dating Partners in theU.S. and Taiwan
Dating Problems
Moving Beyond Dating
Moving Into a More Permanent Relationship
Engagement
Cohabitation
What Do You Think?
Who Cohabits?
Patterns of Cohabitation
Cohabitation Compared to Marriage
Cohabitation as a Preparation for Marriage
Breaking Up
Who Breaks Up?
Responding to Deterioration
PERSONAL
The Birth, Life, and Death of a Relationship
Staying Single
Why People Are Single
Intimacy and Life Satisfaction
Summary
Principles for Enhancing Intimacy
Key Terms
INTERNET CONNECTION
Getting Involved
7. Falling In Love
Learning Objectives
The Meaning of Love
When You Fall In Love
The Process of Falling
How Can You Tell If It's Love?
PERSONAL
Falling in Love–Twice
Passionate Versus Companionate Love
The Emergence of Passionate Love
The Experience of Passionate Love
From Passionate Love To Companionate Love
What Do You Think?
Loving and Liking
Rubin's Love Scale
Love and Friendship
A Triangular Theory of Love
Styles of Loving
Six Types of Lovers
Implications of Differing Styles of Loving
Love Threatened--Jealousy
Who Is Most Jealous?
COMPARISON
Jealousy Among the Italians, Dutch, and New Guineans
Situations That Provoke Jealousy
Consequences of Jealousy
Summary
Principles for Enhancing Intimacy
Key Terms
INTERNET CONNECTION
Falling in Love
8. Selecting A Life Partner
Learning Objectives
Is There a Best Way To Select a Life Partner?
What We Expect In a Life Partner
COMPARISON
Looking for a Mate in India
Qualities Desired in a Life Partner
Exchange and Equity
Narrowing the Field: Assortative Mating
Life Partner Selection as a Filtering Process
Age
Ethnic Background
Race
Religion
Education
Personality
And So Forth
Why Assortative Mating?
Predictors of Marital Satisfaction
Timing
PERSONAL
Should I Marry My Baby’s Father?
Equity
What Do You Think?
Communication
PREPARE: A Multi-Factor Approach
A Final Caution
Summary
Principles for Enhancing Intimacy
Key Terms
INTERNET CONNECTION
Selecting a Life Partner
PART 3. THE INTIMATE COUPLE
9. GETTING MARRIED
Learning Objectives
What Are Your Chances of Getting Married?
Marital Status of the Population
Who Does, and Doesn't, Marry?
Why Do People Marry?
The Need for Intimacy
Social Expectations
What Do You Think?
Social Ideals and Personal Fulfillment
Desire for Children
Marriage as a Practical Solution
Types of Marriage
Classified by Lifestyles
Classified by Nature of the Relationships
COMPARISON
Types of Marriage in Togo
Expectations
Our Private Contracts
Role Expectations
Negotiation: Changing Personal Contracts
The Marriage Contract: Clarifying Expectations
Adjusting To Marriage
His Marriage and Her Marriage
Starting With Two Strikes
Establishing Equity and Consensus
Adjustment and In-Law Relationships
First Year Changes
PERSONAL
In-Laws: The Good and the Bad
Commitment
The Meaning of Commitment
The Role of Commitment
Building Commitment
Summary
Principles for Enhancing Intimacy
Key Terms
INTERNET CONNECTION
Getting Married
10. THE CHALLENGE OF COMMUNICATION
Learning Objectives
The Nature of Communication
Verbal Communication
Nonverbal Communication
Communication as an Interaction Process
A Discussion About Sex
Communication Static
Communicating Feelings
Listening
Styles of Poor Listening
Improving Listening Skills
Impediments To Communication
Destructive Messages
What Do You Think?
Gender Differences As An Impediment
Why Husbands and Wives Don't Talk To Each Other
Satisfying Communication
PERSONAL
All the Talk Was Useless
Communication, Marital Satisfaction, and Intimacy
Everyday Conversations
Self-Disclosure
COMPARISON
Couple Talk in Brisbane and Munich
Other Aspects of Communication
Improving Communication Skills
Rules
Practice
Summary
Principles for Enhancing Intimacy
Key Terms
INTERNET CONNECTION
The Challenge of Communication
11. POWER AND CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE
Learning Objectives
Power In Marriage
The Meaning of Power
Why Is Power Important?
Sources of Power
COMPARISON
The Power of Egyptian Husbands and Wives
What Do You Think?
Marriage as a Power Struggle
Types of Power Interaction
Conflict In Marriage
The Positive Functions of Conflict
The Negative Consequences of Severe Conflict
What People Fight About
Sources of Tension
Styles of Conflict
Good Fighting
Maintain Your Perspective
PERSONAL
Learning How to Fight
Develop Tension Outlets
Avoid Festering Resentment
Be Sensitive To Timing
Communicate Without Ceasing
Be Flexible, Willing To Compromise
Use Conflict To Attack Problems, Not Your Spouse
Keep Loving While You Are Fighting
Summary
Principles for Enhancing Intimacy
Key Terms
INTERNET CONNECTION
Power and Conflict in Marriage
l2. Work And Home
Learning Objectives
His Work and Her Work
Changing Patterns of Working
Women In the Labor Force
Married Women and Employment
Types of Dual-Career Families
Why Women Work Outside the Home
Home Versus the Workplace
Challenges of Dual-Income Families
More Or Less Equal?
Who's Minding The House?
COMPARISONS
Household Tasks and Equity in China
Children and the Challenge of Child Care
The Costs of Both Parents Working
What Do You Think?
Time Management
Role Negotiation
Satisfactions of Dual-Income Families
Marital Satisfaction
Other Benefits
PERSONAL
Employed and Married, and Loving Both
Work and Well-Being
Life Satisfaction
Mental and Physical Health
Coping Strategies
Summary
Principles for Enhancing Intimacy
Key terms
INTERNET CONNECTION
Work and Home
PART 4. INTIMACY IN FAMILIES
l3. BECOMING A PARENT
Learning Objectives
Changing Patterns of Child-Bearing
Birth Rates
Preferences For Size and Sex
To Bear Or Not To Bear
Why People Want To Have Children
The Child-Free Option
PERSONAL
To Be a Parent? The Agonies of the Decision
Involuntary Childlessness
Infertility
Coping With Infertility
Options For the Infertile
Artificial Insemination
In Vitro Fertilization
Surrogate Mothers
Adoption
What Do You Think?
Children and the Quality of Life
The Stresses of Raising Children
Children and Marital Satisfaction
The Satisfactions of Raising Children
Parenting: Her Experience and His Experience
Her Experience
His Experience
COMPARISONS
On the Playground in France, Germany, and Italy
Parenting and the Well-Being of Children
Styles of Parenting
Types of Discipline
Parental Behavior and Children’s Adjustment
Parental Behavior and Self-Esteem
A Final Note: Is Older Better In Parenting?
Summary
Principles for Enhancing Intimacy
Key Terms
INTERNET CONNECTION
Becoming a Parent
14. THE FAMILY LIFE CYCLE
Learning Objectives
The Family Life Cycle
The Meaning of the Family Life Cycle
What Changes Over the Family LIfe Cycle?
Social Change and the Family Life Cycle
The Newly Married: A Family Without Children
What Do You Think?
The Family With Young Children
The Family At Midlife: Adolescents and Aging Parents
The Needs of Adolescents
Parent-Child Problems
Emerging Adulthood
Caring For Aging Parents
The Couples' Midlife Concerns
Satisfaction at Midlife
The Launching and Empty Nest Stage
The Couple Together Again
PERSONAL
An Empty-Nest High
Grandparenthood
The Aging Family
Retirement
Marital Relations
COMPARISON
Caring for Elderly Family Members on Malo
Other Relationships
Death of a Spouse
Summary
Principles for Enhancing Intimacy
Key Terms
INTERNET CONNECTION
The Family Life Cycle
PART 5. CHALLENGES TO INTIMACY
15. FAMILY CRISES
Learning Objectives
Sources of Family Crises
Stress and Crisis
Stressor Events
Abuse of Alcohol and Other Drugs In the Family
Extent of Drug Abuse
Drug Abuse and the Quality of Family Life
Family Problems and Drug Abuse
Violence In Families
The Extent of Violence
Child Abuse
Incest
Spouse Abuse
What Do You Think?
Parent Abuse
COMPARISON
Intimate Partner Abuse in Canada
Consequences of Abuse
Reacting To Crises
Coping Patterns
Ineffective Coping Patterns
The Foundation of Effective Coping
Tools For Effective Coping
PERSONAL
Things Were Terribly Still
Summary
Principles for Enhancing Intimacy
Key Terms
INTERNET CONNECTION
Family Crisis
16. SEPARATION AND DIVORCE
Learning Objectives
Divorce Trends
Divorce Rates
Changing Grounds For Divorce
What Do You Think?
The Process of Uncoupling
Toward Marital Dissolution
The Six Stations of Divorce
Causes and Correlates of Divorce
Sociodemographic Factors
Interpersonal Factors
COMPARISONS
Divorce, Japanese Style
Effects of Divorce on Spouses/Parents
Positive Outcomes
Health Problems
Financial Problems
PERSONAL
My Whole World Was Lost
Interaction Between Former Spouses
Effects of Divorce On Children
Short-Term Effects
Long-Term Effects
Gender Differences
Child Custody
Coping With the Disruption
Summary
Principles for Enhancing Intimacy
Key Terms
INTERNET CONNECTION
Separation and Divorce
17. REMARRIAGE AND STEPFAMILIES
Learning Objectives
Types and Number of Remarriages and Stepfamilies
Types of Remarried Couples
Demographics of Remarriage and Stepfamilies
Deja Vu: Dating and Mate Selection Revisited
Why Remarry?
Issues In Recoupling
The Myths of Remarriage
The Challenges of Remarriage
PERSONAL
“My Husband's First Wife Is Straining My Marriage”
The Quality of Remarried Life
COMPARISONS
Repartnering in Australia
Living In a Stepfamily
What Do You Think?
The Stepfamily Life Cycle
The Structure of the Stepfamily
Stepparents and Stepchildren
Family Functioning
Making It Work
Summary
Principles for Enhancing Intimacy
Key Terms
INTERNET CONNECTION
Remarriage and Stepfamilies
Glossary
References
Credits
Index
